House
by makasarili
Summary: Tsuzuki has been kidnapped, buried alive and gets amnesia. Things get worse when he gets his memory back. Sibling rivalry between Muraki and Saki.
1. Green House

Greenhouse by makasarili  
  
Disclaimer: I am not making any money from this. I have only bought copies of Yami No Matsuei not the copyright.  
  
WARNINGS:  
  
I am going with the R rating because there will be VIOLENCE, among other things. It starts with this very first chapter. Violence may escalate in the following chapters, I am not sure yet haven't written everything.  
  
I hope you are at least 18. I don't care if you say you are mentally 26, anything less than 18 in BODY and MIND does not make you LEGALLY AN ADULT (in some countries you even have to be 21.)  
  
I WILL NOT BE PAYING YOUR THERAPY FEES.  
  
I WILL NOT BE RESPONSIBLE FOR ANYONE THAT IGNORES THESE WARNINGS.  
  
I hope I made that clear.  
  
Thank you.  
  
-----  
  
The fragrance of roses was overwhelming but did nothing to disguise the sense of evil that could be felt from the greenhouse.  
  
"I promised you roses did I not Tsuzuki-san?" Muraki smiled as he opened the door.  
  
An amazing sea of roses were waiting in scarlet, cheery, crimson, ruby, burgundy, reddish-purple, wine-red, and every imaginable shade of red...  
  
"I don't care about that." Tsuzuki declared but shifted uneasily on his feet as he continued to follow the doctor.  
  
"And what do you care about?"  
  
"I am only here because you said you would bring me to Hisoka."  
  
"Right in here Tsuzuki-san." The doctor said as he lifted the plastic curtain serving as a divider for the special section.  
  
The shinigami's eyes went wide and pushed past the doctor. His partner wasn't there at all, only a rose bush labeled as 'Hisoka Blossoms'. "Cheater!" Tsuzuki softly swore. "I am not playing your games."  
  
"Games? I have something more far more than just childish games on my mind Tsuzuki-san and given the chance I would show you." Muraki plucked a rose.  
  
'You killed it.' Tsuzuki thought to himself when as he tried to make a break for it.  
  
"Roses are given as part of wooing... to capture a heart." Muraki had allowed Tsuzuki to past earlier, even if it was quite rude for the shinigami to push him aside, this time the doctor had other plans. One snap of his fingers and the plants went wild, growing beyond their normal rate and moving as if possessed. They ensnared the stunned shinigami. The blossoms released a fine mist that clouded Tsuzuki's vision.  
  
"Let... me... go..." Slurred the shinigami.  
  
"Don't fight it Tsuzuki-san you will only hurt yourself."  
  
Tsuzuki ignored the warning. The thorns bit painfully into his flesh but he ignored them.  
  
"Tsuzuki-san." Intoned Muraki his voice raised a little higher. "Stop being so foolish."  
  
"Where is Hisoka! What have you done to him!" Whispered the shinigami sharply.  
  
Muraki chuckled. "He is the one who walked out on you, let him be the one to come crawling back."  
  
"Crawl!" Tsuzuki was furious, even thought he was physically subdued, a wave of power rippled out. "If you lay off finger on him—" The words were cut off as the roses formed a blade with their stems and went straight through Tsuzuki's heart. His knees buckled under him, but the plant still had him trapped. He wanted to shout but only coughed up blood. He couldn't move at all, and his heart was still bleeding.  
  
"These flowers have an analgesic effect." Muraki reassured him. "You won't feel pain. You will feel nothing at all."  
  
The shinigami's blood stained the roses, red on red, drop by drop.  
  
The doctor drew the blossom he had plucked to his lips, drawing its scent deeply before returning his attention to Tsuzuki. He drew the flower to the shinigami's face inviting him to do the same. "These are very special. You can't find them anywhere else."  
  
'What is he up to?' Tsuzuki looked into Muraki's eyes and found himself reflected there. 'This is too close.' Somehow the rose was different from the others... He could feel the softness against his skin. He could hear how his ragged breath sounded against the petals. He didn't even feel overwhelmed by the heady scent of the all the other roses, this one seemed to draw him in... inviting him to linger just a little longer... a little deeper... a little closer... His fading senses were enticed to savor it completely.  
  
"Don't you want to taste it?" The doctor whispered as he traced the rose along Tsuzuki's lips.  
  
Tsuzuki tried to speak up but as he did his tongue touched the rose for a moment... just a moment against the softest petals. There was a certain sweetness there he just couldn't place. He tried to keep his eyes open, but they were to heavy and finally fell shut. The velvety touch on his face and his lips was pulled away.  
  
"Very special." The doctor whispered as he fastened the rose on to the shinigami. His lips retraced the path the rose has taken over that beautiful face.  
  
Tsuzuki still couldn't move, even as his body was healing. He was spellbound.  
  
------  
  
"Tsuzuki!" Hisoka was scared now. He felt his partner was in danger and he went to find him. He lost the trace at the green house. It looked normal but Muraki must have done something.  
  
"Tsuzuki you baka!" The youth shouted in frustration. What a fool to follow Muraki anywhere and to do it alone!  
  
He was breathing hard from running and felt himself getting light headed from the roses. He rushed outside. Those weren't natural roses. He fought to keep his fingers steady as he pulled out his cell phone.  
  
-----  
  
Muraki heard Tsuzuki's phone ringing. He saw from the caller id it was the brat ... how could he resist. "Hello?"  
  
"Tsuzuki! Where are you?"  
  
"I'm sorry but Tsuzuki-san is indisposed right now."  
  
"Muraki!" Hissed Hisoka. He had assumed it would be Tsuzuki answering. The 'hello' was a bit off but there were no doubts when he heard the way 'Tsuzuki-san' rolled off the doctor's tongue. "You bastard! What have you done to him!?"  
  
"He's resting quite comfortably on the bed I have provided him... but he seems to be quite lonely..."  
  
"Don't you touch him!" Demanded the young shinigami, but they both recognized it as an empty threat.  
  
"And how to you propose to stop me?"  
  
Silence hung in the air, until Muraki chuckled.  
  
"Just let him go." Hissed Hisoka in desperation.  
  
"Absence makes the heart grow fonder... and I have been without him for so long..."  
  
"Not long enough! He isn't yours! He never will be!" Spat Hisoka with venom.  
  
"Oh quite the contrary. We make the perfect pair. I know he will completely agree with me when I am done."  
  
Hisoka heard a muffled moan in the background. His skin crawled with dread. "What are you doing to him?"  
  
Muraki chuckled in response.  
  
Listening carefully the youth heard another moan. Faintly Tsuzuki's voice could be heard in the background calling his name.  
  
Hisoka's knuckles were showing as he gripped the phone harder. He was shaking with rage and aggravation. He closed his eyes, reliving part of that miserable night... imaging his partner going through that. "Damn you Muraki!"  
  
Muraki was laughing. "You should learn to respect you elders bouya."  
  
The phone went dead.  
  
-----  
  
Hisoka remembered what happened. Tsuzuki was being a general pest, and he had no patience to deal with his immature partner today. Hisoka told him off and walked away. He knew Tsuzuki would worry but it irritated him even further.  
  
"I can take care of myself!"  
  
He just wanted some distance, his own private space. His partner chased after him, but he was more determined to get away and was able to shake his partner off...  
  
"Hisoka! Come back!" Whined his partner as he went by.  
  
Muraki must have found him. Tsuzuki would not have been able to hide his distress. It wouldn't have taken a genius to figure out he was searching for Hisoka.  
  
"You should learn to respect you elders bouya."  
  
If only he had ... no. This was just another mind game. He couldn't let Muraki win.  
  
"We make the perfect pair. I know he will completely agree with me when I am done."  
  
'That's a lie.' Hisoka scowled, as he made his next call.  
  
----  
  
tbc  
  
June 4, 2004 


	2. Doll House

Warnings and disclaimers were in previous chapter. Thank you.  
  
-----  
  
_"Somebody help me..."_ He wailed miserably.  
  
In Tsuzuki's mind he was eight again. Bruised and battered. He had to keep running. He couldn't stop. He had to run. He was weary beyond reason and he just wanted to sink to his knees but still he kept sending one foot in front of the other. The world was spinning but still there was no rest.  
  
"WHY DID I HAVE TO DIE!?"  
  
Tsuzuki turned to find Maki as he first met her, in her school uniform and then the image changed to a bloody corpse. He froze as he watched her.  
  
"WHY DID I HAVE TO DIE?!"  
  
He turned to see Maki's friend. Mariko.  
  
"IT WAS BECAUSE OF YOU!" Screamed a group of women that he recognized as the serial killer victims of the Kyoto assignment. "WE ALL DIED BECAUSE OF YOU!"  
  
"You!"  
  
_"I..."_  
  
"MURDERER!"  
  
_"I never meant to hurt anyone."_  
  
"But you did!"  
  
"GOD OF DISASTER!"  
  
_"I'm sorry...I'm sorry..."_  
  
"Liar!"  
  
"BEAST!"  
  
_"Please stop..."_  
  
"Begging did us no good. Why should you be so different?"  
  
"DEMON!"  
  
_"Someone..."_  
  
"YOU DON'T DESERVE TO LIVE."  
  
"Why are you still alive?"  
  
_"...help...me"_  
  
"WHO WOULD HELP YOU?!"  
  
"Who would come for you?"  
  
_"I'm sorry..."_  
  
"SINNER!"  
  
_"Tsuzuki-san..."_  
  
"..."  
  
-----  
  
Tsuzuki regained consciousness in a tangle of red satin ribbons. He tried to free himself but got even more tangled. A familiar sounding chuckle drew his attention to Muraki who was sitting provocatively beside him. Tsuzuki lunged to attack the doctor but was held fast by the mess of ribbons.  
  
"MURAKI!"  
  
"That is my special barrier item for you Tsuzuki-san." Smiled the doctor as he moved in closer to join the shinigami on the bed. Tsuzuki tried to move away as far as possible but there was no escape for him. "It is a thousand times stronger than women's hair, but allows for any movement I wish." Muraki moved in to demonstrate.  
  
Tsuzuki protested loudly and strongly for the doctor to stop.  
  
"You may think I am holding you captive, but I'm even more your captive... Tsuzuki-san..." The ribbons held the prisoner fast but the doctor was able to move through the ribbons as if they were nothing but air, which placed the shinigami at a distinct disadvantage. "These ribbons are nothing compared to the hold you have over me."  
  
Tsuzuki tried to summon a shikigami but found himself instantly gagged with the ribbons.  
  
"We can't have that." Reprimanded the doctor in a mocking manner as he began to draw heavily on Tsuzuki's spiritual power.  
  
Tsuzuki resisted valiantly against his bonds but it was futile. Eyes strayed across the room desperately searching for a means of escape. It did not bode well. All the walls were lined shelf to shelf with glass cases filled with the antique dolls that Muraki favored. He couldn't find the door or even a window. His vision was spinning and beginning to dim, but he could not allow himself to lose consciousness or else bad things would happen. He knew how determined the doctor was in adding him to his private collection. Instinctively he knew no one else was allowed into this room.  
  
"Ah Tsuzuki-san... you hold such promises ...for business and pleasure." The doctor whispered as he turned his attention lower. The shinigami blushed deeply at the implication, which pleased his captor, even thought Tsuzuki couldn't say a word his eyes spoke eloquently.  
  
"And I will have both." Promised the doctor as intertwined his fingers into his captive's, pressing his palm against the other so completely. He longed to claim those lips in a devastating kiss but the shinigami was wide eyed with horror and that just wouldn't do. The doctor's hands squeezed tighter. His touch sent shivers down his captive's spine. His artificial eye shone with malice. Sheer panic filled amethyst pupils... until the doctor drew away with a smaller smile and the words "But I must attend to business first."  
  
The temporary relief that washed over Tsuzuki evaporated when the doctor returned with his medical paraphernalia.  
  
The doctor held out the syringe in the light displaying the luminous purple liquid it was filled with. "It matches your eyes." Said the doctor, as one would refer to accessories. In the next instant the needle was deep in Tsuzuki's arm. His scream was lost in his gag but Muraki caressed his cheek softly over and over while whispering words of comfort, until the shinigami's eyes finally glazed over with a completely blank expression and all signs of resistance stopped.  
  
Muraki smiled. The shinigami's own sense of guilt and the mind control drug would be such a wonderful combination at breaking Tsuzuki's spirit. He could manipulate Tsuzuki to kill his own partner; after all he had Tsubaki-hime kill her own father as 'Irene'. He would just have to create an all-new personality for him. The doctor wondered briefly if he could perhaps have the shinigami besotted with him as Tsubaki-hime had once been. The possibilities were endless.  
  
Besides he had time. The doctor was never going to let him go.  
  
Never.  
  
_Somebody help me..._  
  
-----  
  
tbc  
  
June 26, 2004  
  
I would advise Muraki fans to go away now and read something else. This is not going to be a Muraki/Tsuzuki kind of thing.  
  
I don't think this will be a Tsuzuki/Hisoka either.  
  
Next update will be next month... or even later. 


	3. House Guests

House Guests  
  
Warnings and disclaimers were in first chapter. Thank you.  
  
Additional warnings were at the end of chapter two.  
  
-------  
  
Muraki knew the other shinigamis would come to take back Tsuzuki. He smiled cordially as he spoke to his patient.  
  
"We will be having guests tonight Tsuzuki-san. We should make arrangements to welcome them right?"  
  
His visible eye glistened as he took his beautiful doll in his arms, and a knife in his hand. He carefully drew blood from Tsuzuki.  
  
The shinigami remained completely unresponsive in his arms.  
  
-----  
  
Hisoka followed Tatsumi with mixed feelings. Echoes of the secretary's emotions would flow with his own emotions. He did share some of those feelings – the anger, the frustration, the worry and the burning desire to punish Muraki. There was one emotion that he knew was his alone – jealousy.  
  
Tatsumi was the embodiment of everything Hisoka wanted to be, but was not – an adult in body and mind, a man in control and someone strong enough to match Tsuzuki's power. Muraki was all this too but there was one critical difference that had them on opposite sides.  
  
Tatsumi could hurt anyone, except Tsuzuki. He may still severely scold the irrepressible worker with cruel words but he was also there looking out for him. The miser would deny himself dessert to give the poor fool a little extra. Tsuzuki's happiness was his happiness.  
  
Muraki would kill to bring Tsuzuki to him, even if it destroyed Tsuzuki. He didn't care about anyone else, as long as he got what he wanted. The most insufferable man Hisoka had ever come across, but so polite and proper when addressing Tsuzuki.  
  
Hisoka knew he was somewhere in the middle. He wanted his partner to be happy. He could not imagine a life without Tsuzuki, even when sometimes he felt he was being chocked by the closeness. He was usually cold and reserved, but Tsuzuki was the first to get through his shell. He once thought that as shinigamis they were immortal, but now he knew they could still die and that his puppy like partner never hesitated to risk that life for him. The childish shinigami would do anything to protect him, even if he didn't ask. In his selfishness he asked Tsuzuki to live, even if only for him. Even though his emotionally fragile partner confessed that he wanted nothing more than to just die. Being with Tsuzuki made him feel alive.  
  
_Hold on Tsuzuki, we are coming._  
  
------  
  
Hisoka looked up to see Muraki's mansion. It wasn't the usual mansion in the Japanese context, that would just be an apartment. It was closer to the western definition. It was large, imposing and gothic, but failed to impress the young man. The surrounding grounds were not large by European standards but in a land where space was a prime commodity, it was more than extravagant. The house seemed to have an aura saying smart people don't stay here after dark. In Hisoka's eyes it was a prison, and they were there to rescue his partner, just as the Kurosaki estate had been his own prison.  
  
Tatsumi knew there would at least be a barrier. Muraki had no barriers in Nagasaki because he wanted Tsuzuki to come. In Kyoto he wanted to keep the rest of the shinigamis away so he made a strong barrier to keep them out. He also expected more obstacles since Tsuzuki was a prize Muraki would never willingly surrender. He also knew that they could never let that hentai win.  
  
Hisoka stopped in his tracks. "Muraki is using Tsuzuki's powers to feed the shield."  
  
Tatsumi was thinking of forcefully bring down the house; let Muraki pay for the rebuilding of his house, they would rescue Tsuzuki. On learning that the hentai was using their friend as the power source he dismissed that idea. Tsuzuki's powers were practically endless; to make a dent in the shield would mean causing serious harm to his former partner first.  
  
"Good evening Tatsumi-san." A voice called from the rooftop.  
  
Muraki!  
  
At once the two shinigamis were in the air. They circled the roof cautiously.  
  
The doctor had Tsuzuki on his side, standing perfectly still with vacant eyes.  
  
"What have you done to him?" Hisoka demanded sharply.  
  
"Shut up bouya. This is a conversation for adults." Muraki marked each word with a distasteful tone. "You still haven't learned to respect your elders."  
  
"Kurosaki-kun." Warned Tatsumi. He laid one hand on the empathic teenager, giving him silent instructions in that one touch.  
  
Hisoka balled his fists but backed down. He tried to mentally reach Tsuzuki. There was nothing. His partner seemed so distant, even when it appeared he could just reach out and grab him. Muraki's control was strong but he would find a way to save his partner. Muraki's emotions were loud, clouding the empathic link.  
  
"We have come for Tsuzuki-san." Said the secretary evenly as he positioned himself between Hisoka and the doctor. He would have preferred to be on solid ground, it would have been easier to manipulate his shadows that way, but that was beyond his control. He had to lead the doctor into thinking that he had the upper hand for Kurosaki-kun to rescue Tsuzuki.  
  
"Of course you have, but as his doctor, I must say he is in no condition to travel." Muraki kept his eyes on them while one arm circled protectively around his patient's waist. The other snaked around the shinigami's shoulders rather sexually. Tsuzuki remained expressionless. "I can assure you that I am more than qualified to take care of my patients."  
  
"I have no doubt about your abilities. It is your choice of methods for treatment that concern me." Tatsumi's voice was beginning to take on a more dangerous tone.  
  
Tsuzuki just continued to stare ahead, as Muraki drank in his scent. "I can not release him until he is completely well."  
  
Hisoka heard Muraki's unvoiced thought. 'He will never be completely well so he can never leave.'  
  
"We do not need your services."  
  
"I am being more that charitable. I am already treating him for free." Muraki laughed. "Your office benefits leave much to be desired."  
  
'He's mine. My most beautiful doll.'  
  
Tatsumi turned red with rage. "Tsuzuki does not belong with you." Snapped the secretary, abandoning the façade of politeness, as he loomed over the doctor.  
  
"Visiting hours are over." Muraki turned to leave but found himself unable to move. Careless! He was in Tatsumi's shadow! The brat took that moment to drag Tsuzuki away. They fell out of his arms reach.  
  
Hisoka clutched his senseless partner.  
  
Tatsumi landed beside them, while maintaining a firm hold on the doctor with his shadows. "I wanted to torture you doctor for your sins, but I have lost my patience." The shadows flared... and Muraki disappeared leaving an illusion ofuda in his place.  
  
Hisoka gave a startled cry as his partner also turned into an illusion ofuda.  
  
"What-!"  
  
The surprised shinigamis were then ambushed from all sides by seven winged beasts with tentacles and claws. Each had a squid's head, a cat-like body and bat-like wings.  
  
The shadow master leaped out of claws reach but not out of the tentacles. The monsters attempted to tear him apart, four beasts wrapped their tentacles around each of Tatsumi's limbs and a fifth monster wrapped tentacles around his neck. The shadow master sliced at them with his shadows killing the five that attacked him instantly.  
  
Hisoka was able to bring one down with his ofuda but the other was more cunning, after avoiding the spell the beast cut him deeply. Blood soaked his back where he was seriously injured by a claw.  
  
"Kurosaki-kun!" Tatsumi shouted as he ran to help the young shinigami.  
  
The beast came for a second run. Hisoka put more power into his spell, which killed off the remaining summoned beast. The blast obliterated the beast but all caught Tatsumi in the line of fire.  
  
"Tatsumi-san... I'm... sorry..." Hisoka halting said. He heard a sound behind him and found that he had been shot. 'Damn Muraki!' was his last conscious thought.  
  
-----  
  
Hisoka woke up to find himself tied up, hanging upside down from the ceiling.  
  
He saw the secretary trapped in a magic circle, out cold. His feet and his hands were restrained in the same position that the beasts had tried to tear him apart.  
  
"Tatsumi-san!" The young shinigami called weakly.  
  
There was no response from the secretary.  
  
"Tatsumi-san!" He called again a little louder.  
  
"He can't hear you bouya."  
  
Hisoka was spun around to face his tormentor.  
  
"I've given him enough sedatives to keep him quiet until I finish with you."  
  
Hisoka hated swinging around like a pendulum for Muraki's sick pleasure. "And what do you plan to do with me?"  
  
"I just wanted to thank you for your help. Tatsumi-san was quite troublesome."  
  
"I didn't do it to help you. I -"  
  
"Maybe. Maybe not. But one less rival for Tsuzuki-san. Wouldn't you agree my puppet?"  
  
"I told you to keep away from him!"  
  
"And I told you to respect your elders." Snapped the doctor as he slapped the boy.  
  
Hisoka's mind was racing. He was not going to be raped this time, because the psychotic physician had other prioritizes, most of them involving a certain amethyst-eyed shinigami.  
  
Muraki took hold of the youthful shinigami's hair roughly and when he stopped swinging, the doctor rested his fingers on the young shinigami's face, feeding the image of Tsuzuki tangled in web of scarlet ribbons, as he succumbed to the drug. "What did you give Tsuzuki?"  
  
The doctor smiled. "I improved the drug I gave Tsubaki-hime. It is now more potent. I had to make it very special for Tsuzuki-san."  
  
"You let him go you bastard!"  
  
"Really bouya. Do you intent to challenge me again for him?"  
  
"I will save Tsuzuki!"  
  
Muraki laughed as if he heard the best possible joke. "Save him?" He laughed again. "And how safe was he when you abandoned him?"  
  
"I-" Hisoka fell silent. This happened because he ran away from his partner.  
  
The doctor was still laughing. "And how safe is he in your precious Meifu."  
  
"I don't understand."  
  
"Of course not you stupid boy!" The doctor stopped laughing, his tone serious and even a little sad. "Couldn't you see? Their plans for Tsuzuki?"  
  
"You're the one who was going to kill him for your brother."  
  
Muraki smiled. "So blind to the danger that was always there. I can save Tsuzuki from his fate worse than 'death'."  
  
"Tsuzuki chose to be a shinigami."  
  
"Your assuming bouya that he was given the same choice as you. He never had a choice."  
  
The silence laid heavily on Hisoka. He had always thought it was Tsuzuki's choice to be a shinigami in the first place, just like he was offered the choice... but he never asked.  
  
"A jewel in a mine, trying to be just another rock so he can be thrown out with the rest of the dirt. Scared that he was singled out and repeatedly cut by a diamond, but soon it will be over. My amethyst jewel."  
  
-----  
  
tbc  
  
July 6, 2004  
  
This is the longest chapter I have ever done. Am I improving, digressing or stagnant?

Feedback on points for improvement would be highly appreciated.


	4. Dream House

August 19, 2004

Today is my first year anniversary with fanfiction . net.

I had to post an update.

Warnings and disclaimers were in the previous chapters.

----

Muraki left his houseguests informing the boy to hang around as long as he liked, but he had to attend to Tsuzuki-san.

The shinigami was breathtakingly beautiful as he waited for the doctor with his eyes staring ahead into nothingness. "Did you miss me Tsuzuki-san?" Muraki whispered with a smile, as he warmed that face in his hands. "I missed you, but don't worry there will be no more interruptions. Sweet dreams."

-------

Tsuzuki was caught in his nightmare of guilt. Running in circles there was no escape... endless faces of those whose blood was on his hands. Faces of his friends turning away from him with the expressions of extreme disgust.

"Come back! Don't leave me!"

"Don't touch me!"

"Tatsumi!"

"Tsuzuki how could you!"

"Watari!"

"I thought you were different."

"Hisoka!"

They disappeared into the darkness leaving Tsuzuki alone.

"Come back!"

He cried endless tears but they left him anyway. He collapsed on the floor curling him self into fetal position.

"Come back!"

Hearing nothing except his crying... wait there were footsteps. He looked up to find a reflection of his younger self, bending over him.

"Your back."

Tsuzuki was at a lost for words.

His reflection sighed sympathetically. "I guess all we have is each other."

"But my friends-"

"Always leave."

"They care for me!"

"Really? How valuable do you think you are to them?"

"They-"

"The secretary would sell you off for money. The scientist uses you as a guinea pig with or without permission. The rookie only needs you until he has enough power of his own."

"..."

"You mean absolutely nothing to them. You are expendable."

A wretched cry broke forth.

"You know its true. They would think nothing of abandoning you."

"No!"

"Who abandoned you?"

"Stop!"

Drowning in the memory of his break-up with Tatsumi, the feelings of abandonment and rejection resurfaced and threatened to swallow him whole. "It's in the past. I should be used to it by now! Its different now."

"Then why have you never told them the truth. You know they would hate you for it."

"Aaaauuughh!" came the terrible cry, resounding throughout Tsuzuki's mind. It was that wretched night again, the one night he could never forgive himself for. Time doesn't heal all wounds, especially those that were unforgivable.

"Maybe they hate you already."

"No."

"Enma-Daioh saw how much potential you had then ... an extra-ordinary killer."

"I never wanted to hurt anyone."

"Did you forget your last visit here? You left here in quite a hurry to kill that doctor."

"That was different-"

"How was it different Asato?"

"I-"

"How is different? Tell me."

"I-"

"Answer me."

"..."

"You choose to kill him." His younger self broke into accusing laughter.

Tsuzuki couldn't breathe or speak. It was true. He had every intention of killing Muraki in Kyoto and to kill himself. He failed on both accounts. "I should have died." He closed his eyes trying to drift into the darkness. He opened his eyes to find young purple eyes looking at him accusingly. His eyes filled with tears but only made his tormentor laugh.

"Do you really think you can lie to me?" Such a sweet tender smile graced those lips, but his eyes were hard and reproachful.

-----

Muraki smiled as he continued to gaze at Tsuzuki, wiping away the tears from unseeing eyes. "Do you really think you can lie to me?" Gently the doctor continued to undress him. "I can see into your very soul." '-among other things. My dearest Tsuzuki-san.'

He burned Tsuzuki's clothes in the fireplace, just a symbol of cutting away all of Tsuzuki's ties to Meifu.

----

Tsuzuki opened his eyes and blinked back in confusion. Where was he now?

His younger self was gone and he found himself in a white room with large windows opening into a garden full of life basking in a bright sunny day. The shinigami weakly rose from the couch he was reclining on to get a better view, but his knees were like jello.

Muraki was suddenly there supporting him. The doctor's hand slipped inside Tsuzuki's open shirt as he assisted Tsuzuki to remain standing. "My dearest Tsuzuki-san."

"Let me go." The shinigami said in a voice barely above a whisper.

"We are not finished Tsuzuki-san."

"What do you want?"

"I want you."

That's a lie. This isn't real. This isn't happening... The shinigami turned his face away the only sign of resistance. The rest of his body wouldn't move and he could hardly think, as Muraki overpowered him.

The doctor was on top of him. "There is no need to be afraid. No one knows you like I do. No one can love you like I do."

"Don't touch me!" Came the terrified desperate but choked whisper. "No!"

"I need you Tsuzuki-san."

This isn't happening...

"I would never leave you."

Something stirred Tsuzuki at the words. "Everybody leaves. Everybody dies." He could hardly hear himself as he said those words but the doctor caught every word.

Muraki smiled down on him. "Shhh."

So tired. So tired... So... tired.

"I will never leave you."

Tsuzuki gaze was far away but he couldn't ignore the words.

"And you will never leave me."

The shinigami closed his eyes... closing his mind...

-----

Muraki smiled in satisfaction, as he finished dressing Tsuzuki.

The helicopter was waiting.

His staff secured his slumbering patient on board.

Muraki watched the helicopter for a moment before returning to his house, as a proper host he had to take proper leave of his house guests.

-----

tbc


	5. Fire House

Warnings and disclaimers were in the previous chapters.

Additional warning: Cliffhanger

-----

Muraki found his guests as he left them. They did not have a warm welcome last night but he could work on a warm farewell, a really warm farewell.

_Ring around a roses_

_A pocket full of poises_

_Ashes! Ashes!_

_We all fall down._

He scattered special rose petals and the ashes of Tsuzuki's coat around the two shinigamis. He cast an illusion spell on the shinigamis' unguarded minds... of Tsuzuki summoning Touda again and this time they were too late. Hisoka's face contorted in grief as Tsuzuki refused to be saved. Tatsumi's face hardly changed in expression but turned significantly pale. The doctor took great delight in their misery.

'Tsuzuki!' Hisoka opened his eyes with a killer migraine. 'Must get to Tsuzuki!' He was disoriented from being upside down for what must have been hours. He noticed that the secretary was awake, working against his restraints. Shadows would pool around him but they could not leave the circle.

Muraki summoned a fire dragon to finish the job. He knew his fire could not compare to Touda's but he also knew the emotional scars cut more deeply than any knife. Guilt was a powerful weapon.

In the illusion, they saw Tsuzuki burning, giving himself to the flames.

"Tsuzuki! Come back!"

The doctor turned to his beast and told it to burn the house down. He didn't care about his ancestral home or his doll collection. He had Tsuzuki and he would never let anyone or anything take the object of his affection away. He escaped by teleporting away. "He's mine now. Forever."

Hisoka heard the doctor but he couldn't find him. The smoke was so thick.

Tatsumi was finally able to break free of the circle. He summoned shadows to shield himself and his young co-worker. His mind was still in a haze but his overwhelming desire to protect Hisoka lent him the strength to see the two of them to safety.

"NO WE HAVE TO SAVE TSUZUKI!" Screamed Hisoka, but there was no one left to save.

"He's gone Kurosaki-kun."

"No... he... can't...be...Tsuzuki..." The boy fainted. _'How could you leave me!'_

------

Tsuzuki had been buried alive.

This coffin was sealed with wands, sealed like Meifu was against his power. He was helpless. He couldn't call his shikigamis.

"Let me out."

He didn't know where he was. He didn't know if anyone knew where he was. He didn't know if anyone was coming. How long had he been trapped? How long did he have to endure this? When was it enough?

He had once thought that as long as he didn't hurt anyone he could live with himself, but now he knew it was just another lie.

"I don't want to die! Not like this!"

It was a tight fit and he pushed against the lid with his body but it refused to budge.

He could hear nothing except his own voice, his screams and his crying. He could see nothing except complete darkness. He could feel nothing except the tears streaming down his face and his sweat pouring out from his body. Was this the eternal rest Muraki promised him?

"I want to go home!" Home to Hisoka, Tatsumi and Watari. Let them call him baka, saru or test subject. He didn't care. Home. "I just want to go home."

He didn't care if the chief fired him, or if he had to endure Terazuma's company, just as long as someone cared. "I don't want to be alone!"

He kept shouting and calling for help until his throat was raw and then it was quiet, total silence. 'Why wouldn't anyone help me?'

Muraki said he wouldn't leave him. He would have shouted at the perverted doctor to leave him alone... but what if something bad had happened and Muraki wasn't coming back for him? What if no one knew where he was? Would he stay down here until he was completely mad?

"Please let me out!" He tried to shout but his voice was gone.

Tears continued to flow. _'How could you leave me!'_

-----

September 19, 2004

Sorry for the long wait.


	6. Power House

Warnings and disclaimers were in the previous chapters.

-----

Hisoka went through the days with a numbing sense of disbelief. He could not believe that Tsuzuki was gone, but he saw him burn. Tatsumi saw him burn.

'_Why couldn't I save him?'_

The other shinigamis tried to make it easier for him but no one could really reach him, no one ever could except for Tsuzuki. There was a time he would have gone to Tatsumi for advise but every time they saw each other there was an overwhelming grief that tore at them.

He embraced himself remembering Tsuzuki's warm gentle hands. He had thought he had cried out all his tears, but here were the tears again and he couldn't stop.

'_Why couldn't I save you Tsuzuki?'_

-----

Enma was furious that a mere human would dare to interfere with his plans. Tsuzuki belonged to him and to no one else.

"Tsuzuki is alive Kanoe. You have three days to find him and bring him to me."

Kanoe did not even dare to ask about the implied threat. He was devastated with the news of Tsuzuki's death, but somehow it still wasn't alright even as Enma told him that the shinigami was somewhere in the land of the living.

"Take whatever means necessary regarding the doctor."

Kanoe looked up in surprise and then remembered to bow. "As you say my lord Enma." He had to get back to the office.

Enma watched him go them summoned a team of his personal guards. "Find Tsuzuki and use this to bind his powers. Make sure his friends fail in their mission."

The five shadowy figures faded as suddenly as they appeared.

"Time to shake things up."

-----

Tsuzuki woke up and couldn't understand why he could not stop shaking until he realized that it was an earthquake. The intensity broke the seal but then the coffin broke apart and debris came crashing through trapping him before he could even think of teleporting.

'_HELP! SOMEBODY HELP ME!'_

-----

Hisoka was stunned by the sudden cry of humanity caught in a collective sense of sheer panic. He felt the cry resounding even in Meifu. It was a terrible cry but there was one voice in that multitude that he recognized. _'Tsuzuki!'_

He ran to the secretary's office without knocking. "Tsuzuki! He's alive!"

"Kurosaki-kun?" Tatsumi was with Watari going over evidence. He was surprised by the youth's boldness but even more stunned by his news.

"I felt him! I know it! He's alive!"

The secretary sat down quietly.

"So Touda was never summoned. He was in Meifu the whole time." Declared Watari excitedly, confirming Wakaba's report.

"But how-?"

"You said it yourself Tatsumi-san. You and Bon thought you had rescued Tsuzuki but it was an illusion. Muraki must have made another illusion to fake Tsuzuki's death."

"Then where is he?"

Silence ruled the room but everyone was thinking the same thing.

'_Muraki.'_

The chief returned from his meeting with Enma. He didn't seem surprised by Hisoka's news. Instead he had orders from above. "We have been given just three days to find him."

"You mean they knew that Tsuzuki..."

"What does he mean three days? What will happen if-?"

"Let's go find him." The secretary ordered ending any further discussion or speculation about the matter.

-----

Muraki was doing his rounds in the hospital when the earthquake stuck. He wanted to rush to Tsuzuki's side, but there would be emergency cases from the quake. He cursed under his breath. He had meant to hide his treasure until a more favorable zodiac alignment. He spied on his prize and found that Tsuzuki was still trapped. The doctor knew however that if rescue workers found him then Meifu would find him. He was not pleased at the prospect. The nurses called him to the operating room.

"Duty calls Tsuzuki-san but don't worry I will take care of you."

-----

Tsuzuki suddenly felt a weigh lifted off his shoulders, allowing him to fill his tortured lungs with fresh air. He felt arms taking hold of him. He moaned pitifully as he tried to crawl the rest of the way out.

"He's alive!"

He was shielding his eyes from the sudden light. It was making him dizzy. A sudden sense of panic filled him and he thought he saw something shadowy through his hazy vision. Suddenly his head throbbed with an intense pain.

"Get him on the stretcher."

"It's a miracle he's alive."

"And without a scratch."

"Don't worry your safe now."

"Ugh..." He tried to get up but a strong hand on his shoulder forced him back down.

"Hey wait! You should still see a doctor."

"Home." He could barely talk but he begged to go home.

"No. You have to see a doctor first."

He shook his head. Something was wrong, so very wrong. The pain was fading away and his vision was beginning to clear but something was still wrong.

"Can you tell me your name?"

An unreadable expression crossed his features before he looked up with serious scared eyes. "I- I don't remember."

"Where do you live?"

"An apartment... but I can't remember... where..."

"Let's get you to the hospital. I'm sure someone can help you there. Okay?"

"Okay." Came the soft unsure reply.

The false paramedic returned the light into the box. It had done the job perfectly. He could take Tsuzuki right now to his master but that was only half his mission. Patience is a virtue. One that he had.

-----

The shinigamis went to look for their missing friend in the land of the living. Hisoka was having problems with so many people traumatized by the earthquake. Aftershocks would trigger a panic attack which the empathic shinigami felt all to keenly, but he also knew that his partner was here somewhere.

"Kurosaki-kun are you sure your up to this?"

"We have to find him." Replied the teenager avoiding the issue. "I can't believe it took us this long to figure it out."

"He will be alright. Bon."

"We will save him." Tatsumi said to reassure them all.

Unbidden Muraki's words came to haunt Hisoka again. 'How safe is he in your precious Meifu?'

"Tsuzuki was here." Hisoka had found the site where Muraki had buried his partner. "The earthquake broke the seal..."

Tatsumi had to shake his young co-worker before the memory swallowed him. "Kurosaki-kun!"

The empathic shinigami blinked his eyes a couple of times. "I'm fine."

"Then why hasn't he returned?" Pressed Watari as he surveyed the area.

"He was discovered by rescue workers... then something went wrong... I can't follow his consciousness..."

"What went wrong?"

"I don't know. It's like Tsuzuki disappeared or rather his consciousness. He's not dead. The rescue workers were with him..."

"So we have to check the hospitals. That would be the normal procedure for rescue workers."

"...They were thinking it was the stress and Tsuzuki developed temporary amnesia."

"Amnesia?"

"But something doesn't feel right. It started after they pulled him from the rubble... Instant amnesia?"

Tatsumi and Watari did not like the sound of that. Something very suspicious was going on.

"Let's go to the hospitals."

-----

Muraki could not help but smile at his good fortune. Tsuzuki was brought to him by the paramedics and he had amnesia.

"Do you remember anything?"

"I- I remember... feelings... something bad happening... "

"You mean the earthquake?"

"No... something like it... but different... can't explain."

The doctor was puzzled. Tsuzuki's powers seemed to also have been affected. He had tried to take a taste of that sweet essence under the pretext of an examination but it tasted like an unyielding mouthful of cotton, not the rich, sweet and intoxicating essence he had come to expect of Tsuzuki.

"I feel dizzy."

"Lie back."

His patient obeyed without a word of protest.

"What do you see when you try to remember?"

"Shadows... It's like grasping at shadows... I see something in my mind but when I try to understand or name it... it slips from my grasp... like shadows..."

"Physically there is nothing wrong with you, but clearly you are in no condition to go off on your own."

"I don't want to be a burden." Declared the patient. "I just want to go home."

The doctor smiled as he rested a finger on his patient's lips. Violet eyes opened to meet hungry silver eyes which looked with such burning intensity.

"Don't worry. I'll take care of everything." Muraki promised.

-----

"Bon are you sure your okay?"

The young man was exhausted. He had been unable to get a goodnight's rest since his partner was taken and he was now doing all he could to get him back. "So many people thinking the worse. It's getting on my nerves."

"Natural disasters reminds people that they are not always in control of their lives."

When they arrived at the hospital Tatsumi suggested that Hisoka and Watari wait outside. He was concerned about Hisoka pushing himself too much. Besides the hospital was crowded as it was, and if Tsuzuki was inside it would be easier to pose as his elder brother. There would be less questions.

Hisoka didn't fight the decision. He was tired and hoped that the secretary would find Tsuzuki in the hospital. He was worried about the possible condition of his partner. What had happened?

Suddenly 003 flew into a frenzy.

"Gah? What's the matter with you?"

"MURAKI!" Cried out the youngest shinigami as he pointed at the doctor getting into his car.

"TSUZUKI!" Shouted Watari as he noticed who was in the passenger seat.

'_He's alive!'_

-----

A shadowy figure lurked above the doctor's car. Before either shinigami could teleport to Tsuzuki a shield was raised trapping them and allowing the doctor to make a clean getaway.

"Can't allow you to interfere Shinigami."

The shadow flew into the sky chasing after the doctor.

The shinigamis immediately recognized that this was no ordinary shield. To be raised instantly and to be strong enough to hold them. Someone else was involved. Who was it? Who was helping Muraki?

Tatsumi had returned. He disguised his shadows as an aftershock to release his friends.

They chased after the doctor but they had lost the trail. They were terribly frustrated at being so close and yet so far.

"_Tsuzuki we will find you."_

-----

October 25, 2004

tbc

Sorry. I was experiencing extreme technical difficulties before this chapter could come out.

Thank you for reading.

I hope to get the next chapter out faster.


	7. Warehouse

Warnings and disclaimers were in the previous chapters. It is not my fault if you are deliberately ignoring them. You have something called freedom of choice.

Thank you for your reviews, but special thanks to Tessa Marlene.

------

Sakura blossoms...

'I must be dreaming or it's that nightmare again.' Hisoka told himself. He felt younger like he was thirteen. 'I shouldn't look there.' Still his eyes strayed over to the hill where he knew Muraki would be. The doctor was there dressed in white standing with his arms around his victim.

The same old dream had taken a turn for the worse. In Muraki's arms was Tsuzuki. A hand rose high above his head before coming back down savagely down Tsuzuki's chest.

'NO!'

Hisoka woke up with a start to find himself in an unfamiliar room. The moment of panic subsided when he discovered Watari and 003 sleeping soundly on the neighboring tatami mat. He heard running water and decided to investigate.

"Kurosaki-kun?" The secretary called from the doorway. The early riser had already made breakfast and invited the young man to join him.

"Tatsumi-san? Where are we?"

"Watari was monitoring the police band and has tracked Muraki to this general location."

Hisoka was not really in the mood to eat but knew better than to argue with the shadow master. He was hungrier for answers than he was for food, but Tatsumi refused to discuss matters any further until Hisoka had eaten and Watari was awake. Explaining anything twice was always a waste of time. The young shinigami chewed on his food in an absent-minded manner hoping Watari would get up soon enough.

As if on cue, an alarm clock went off and Watari began begging for five more minutes.

Hisoka sighed in exasperation, he remembered his partner, who would stay up late to work on the case, who always tried to give him more time to sleep. It irritated the young shinigami when Tsuzuki would try to do him these favors; it only served to fuel the feeling that Tsuzuki did not see him as an equal but as a child in need of a babysitter. Then Tsuzuki would compensate for skipping out on sleep by sleeping anywhere during the day, at his desk, at a park bench or laying on any patch of grass that captured his fancy. Giving the impression that he was the lazy good for nothing space taker of Enmacho, and Hisoka was the mature young man who was the adult in the partnership. It was most difficult when Tsuzuki would drink in the evenings and come to work with a major hangover. Drinking would always bring out the needful side of Tsuzuki and allowed slipping into the darkness he so desperately wanted to escape. Hisoka had empathically linked with Tsuzuki during one of those slips, it was not pretty but Hisoka could not and would never take it back. Tsuzuki-

Tatsumi's reaction to was to seize Watari with his shadows and shake him awake. There was no time to waste.

"Okay I'm up!" Cried the scientist, hoping to discourage the secretary from flexing more shadow muscle.

"Good." Tatsumi had a smile on his face that sent chills down his co-worker's spines. Then the smile turned softer as he handed Watari a cup. "We have a very busy day today. Finding Tsuzuki is just half the problem. Muraki is the only person that he trusts at this point. There is no telling what lies the bastard is feeding him even as we speak. He will not recognize us and we cannot expect him to understand the truth. However we must also consider our deadline."

"What happens when our time is up?" Hisoka finally asked the dreaded question. His sleep-deprived mind lowering his inhibitions just enough for that one burning question to pass.

The secretary pressed his lips together, the last sign of resistance, before he verbalized with a stone cold voice. "It would be Tsuzuki's time which would be up. It will be for Enma to decide but I think it would be certain that Tsuzuki will be lost to us forever."

"I can't believe Muraki would just win that way." Spat out Hisoka in disbelief.

"Bon. It doesn't have to be Muraki who wins. Tsuzuki has other enemies-"

Those that envied him and his power and would kill for it. Power hungry beings like demons and devils. Just like Muraki. Tsuzuki did not desire power and at times even resented it, for every time he hurt another a part of him died. Yet, it was undeniably a part of him and it grew too such an astounding level partly because of his attitude of not being obsessed over it. A power that was like a beacon, to those obsessed with great power, drawing them to Tsuzuki, they tried their ways of breaking him and thought of new ones each day.

To lose Tsuzuki was intolerable, they had faced that scenario at Kyoto and no one wanted that to happen ever again.

For Tsuzuki to lose was unacceptable. He deserved better. He deserved to be happy.

Tatsumi did not like the way this conversation was going. "The sooner we get to work, the sooner we can get results!" He fumed, snapping his co-workers out of their reverie.

"YES!" They cried in unison.

Watari made a mad dash for his computer.

Hisoka stood at attention, frozen until Tatsumi laid a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "There is someone we should see."

------

Tsuzuki knew he just had to open his eyes to wake up, but the welcome warmth of the bed was too tempting to leave. He felt so safe and secure here. His sensitive nose however sensed food. Bed or breakfast?

"Good morning Tsuzuki-san." greeted a sensual voice brightly. He felt the bed shift under additional weight, and something straddle him across his thighs.

"Is it morning already?" Asked the shinigami as he rubbed sleep out of his eyes, he saw Muraki sitting beside him and the large breakfast tray that was waiting for him. Wow, breakfast in bed.

"You must be starving." The doctor helped him to sit up and with a bit of flourish revealed the mouthwatering meal, a large mug of hot steaming chocolate, toast, eggs, a plate of pancakes topped with whipped cream and three types of syrup to choose from, a slice of freshly baked apple pie and a fruit basket.

He found Muraki's generosity overwhelming but remembered to say, "Thank you. Sensei." He blushed embarrassed that he could not even remember the doctor's name.

"I told you to call me Kazutaka."

"But it doesn't feel right." Calling the doctor on a first name basis symbolized an intimacy that he did not feel and he was too embarrassed to let him know he could not remember his last name, after all he had done. Oh, he remembered now. "Muraki-sensei."

"I wish you weren't so formal with me." Sighed the doctor. He noted with a bit of disappointment that Tsuzuki had barely touched the food.

"But you've done so much for me and I don't know how to repay you." Apologized Tsuzuki as he took the smallest sip from that large mug. Such rich sweet chocolate warmed Tsuzuki right up, bringing a delicate blush to those cheeks. Calling attention to that handsome face, the brilliant amethyst eyes, perfect teeth in that open smile, skin with the glow of health and aura of untapped power, a neck suggestive of such sensual pleasures leading to the chest partly visible from the yukata's opening.

"Being with you is payment enough." Muraki affirmed as he took in that bewitching sight. He decided to take a more active roll in feeding Tsuzuki. "Which fruit would you like for me to peel for you?"

"Why are you so nice to me?" Curious amethyst eyes looked into poker faced silver orbs, as his hands felt over the fruits, trying to decide which one to eat, such beautiful hands with fingers capable of such tender touches and massive destruction.

"Let's just say that my grandfather would want me too." Replied the doctor with a mysterious smile.

"Your grandfather?" Tsuzuki handed over a smooth sweet smelling bright yellow mango.

"Now Tsuzuki-san you really should eat your breakfast." Muraki worked the knife with expert precision cutting into the soft skin to reveal the succulent flesh.

"How did you find out my name was Tsuzuki?" The shinigami asked anyway, making it all to clearly for the doctor that he needed answers.

"It was in your medical records." Confessed the doctor, it was the truth. He did not have to say that those medical records belonged to someone who was dead. There was no need for his patient to know that the records were several decades old. Muraki Yukitaka's journals were kept religiously, detailing every anomaly that was ever observed from Tsuzuki, written down into concise entries.

"Then you have my address. I can go home." The patient exclaimed with excitement before he realized it was not proper.

"Are you so eager to leave me Tsuzuki-san?" The doctor pretended to pout as he presented him with the mango ready for eating.

"No it's not that. I did not mean to offend you." Tsuzuki was embarrassed at such a social blunder, but the doctor smiled and gestured for him to take the fruit an eat it. "I really am grateful for all your help, but I should go home sometime."

Muraki waited for Tsuzuki to finish the fruit, signifying the end of the meal before he spoke again. "I understand but you see that just isn't possible. I am sorry to tell you that there is nothing left at that address." He took away the tray and settled it over a table in the corner. He returned to Tsuzuki's side, sitting closer that before.

"... Oh ... must have been the earthquake." Sorrowful eyes no one could resist turned to the ground.

Muraki saw no reason to straighten out Tsuzuki's wrong deduction.

"What about my family?"

"You have no family left." Tsuzuki's family died ages ago but Muraki could see that Tsuzuki felt he was losing something important all over again. "You shouldn't be so sad. They have been gone a long time."

"I know its crazy. I know – I knew I had to have a family. Everyone has their roots. I was just hoping someone could tell me who I am."

"Tsuzuki-san. Family does not always tell you who you are. Sometimes you have to discover that for yourself."

"How about friends?"

"Your friends are all dead." After all, you cannot become a shinigami without dying first. Shinigamis are not allowed to have relations with the living. A life and death struggle would always ensue and everything living eventually dies. All of Tsuzuki's friends were dead. It was the truth.

"There really is no one left?" Tsuzuki's heart was hurting again, a dull familiar pain. "I'm alone."

"You have been alone for quite a long time but now you have me to take care of you." Promised the doctor, who claimed him in a possessive hug.

Tsuzuki's sense of grief was immense as he openly cried out his heart in the arms of a murderer.

Unnoticed by both men was a pair of spying eyes in the corner, watching their every move.

'The master must know of this.'

Tsuzuki turned to see just as the shadow faded away. Just like his memories, a shadow play he could not understand. Shadows he could not hold on too long enough to understand. 'I don't remember anything, but do I really want too?'

"Shhh. I know what it means to be alone too. I lost my family a long time ago too."

"I'm sorry."

Ah, Tsuzuki-san you really are kind. Even with amnesia, you still have concern for me, a stranger in your eyes. Even if it cost me my life, I will not regret this day.

Besides, if everything goes according to plan I will be the winner.

And, you will not forget that.

I will make sure of that.

------

tbc

November 19, 2004

Next update, next month.

I can find myself on google now.


	8. House Arrest

I had a combination of writer's block and inspiration overload. I would keep getting ideas but they were out of sequence and fragmented.

New warning: **Slow** writer.

Recommendations: Read "Asylum Arc"

Sorry, for keeping you waiting.

Now on with the story-

Tsuzuki felt like a stranger living in someone else's skin; closing his eyes made him feel more real. He felt the flowing water over his skin. His hands kept going over his wrists; were those really his scars? All those crisscrossing marks on his wrists, why did he have them? It didn't take a genius to figure out how they were made… but why? Why did he have so many?

The doctor recommended the lavender soap for a relaxing bath. The sweet scent was wonderful, but as he was lathering up the fragrance triggered a fleeting memory of being close to someone. He tried to hold on to memory just a little bit longer but like all his previous efforts, it proved to be futile. There was reluctance as he rinsed his body ending the bath.

Muraki listened to the splashing water as he was fixing Tsuzuki's bed.

He held the pillow to his face and took in a deep breath of the scent of the shinigami. A pungent scent of endless days under sakura trees, countless seasons of lying in open fields and flying in the infinite sky, the sweetness of youth and life that would last forever and the unyielding and incredible power of death cleverly disguised in a body that would never be claimed by old age or decay. He smiled as he smoothed out one last wrinkle from the perfectly made bed.

The doctor took up the tray and went to the kitchen to cleanup.

Tsuzuki liked how this shirt felt on his body. The yukata was comfortable but this shirt felt so cool and soft on his skin. He didn't choose his clothes they were already laid out for him by Muraki. They must be going out, these were too nice for staying in doors.

Sensei was most hospitable and generous. He anticipated everything his patient could need, even encouraged indulging his desires. He showered him with gifts, a medical emergency bracelet which listing the doctor as the person to contact in case of emergency, a journal to help his amnesiatic ward work out his thoughts and the clothes he was wearing now.

He looked curiously at the stranger's reflection in the bathroom's full length mirror, as he brushed his hair.

"Who are you?"

He studied his reflection hoping to get an answer, but he only got an inquisitive stare from brilliant violet eyes. He felt uncomfortable under that gaze and turned away.

"Who am I?"

He opened the sliding panel to make his way to where the doctor was waiting.

Hisoka and Tatsumi were back in Meifu. Tatsumi spoke with the chief to arrange a meeting with Hakushaku. The empathic shinigami wasn't too thrilled with this prospect but reassured himself with the secretary's presence.

"This way please, Tatsumi-sama, Kurosaki-sama." The count's corpse-like butler gestured for the shinigamis to follow him. "Hakushaku-sama has been expecting you."

Hisoka was surprised by these words, after all he didn't know they were going to see the count until this morning.

Watson led them to the study. The avid reader saw some titles on the shelves he dimmed perverted, but spoke nothing of it. There was only one book from the count's collection he would have considered reading, but it was nowhere in sight. (1)

The count had some rolled up charts on his desk but he was working on his computer.

"Excuse me Hakushaku-sama, the shinigami are here too see you."

"Good morning." Tatsumi greeted the count politely. Hisoka knew Tatsumi did not take well to the count's pursuit of Tsuzuki but could find no sign of that animosity.

"Good morning. Watson please bring us some tea."

"Please don't trouble yourself-"

"I insist. I don't receive guests too often."

It was the truth. Hisoka could feel it, the loneliness. This man, as eccentric as he was, would help his partner. The empathic shinigami noted the absence of the other emotions he would normally feel from the count when his partner was present; the lust, the desire and the twisted yet genuine joy in tormenting Tsuzuki with his little games. There was loneliness and there was concern.

"Thank you."

"The task before you is fraught with danger."

The youth brushed of such nonsense. "We have to save Tsuzuki." But he paused when he sensed that the invisible man was concerned not only for his missing partner but for Hisoka himself.

Tatsumi smiled quietly. Hisoka was true to his partner.

"Yes you do." _'And I can not.'_

"How can we help him? How can we save him?" Hisoka was desperate and he no longer had his cold tough shell to hide his feelings.

"Please tell us what you know." Tatsumi spoke with a more neutral tone, hoping to calm his young friend. He wanted to reassure the traumatized teenager that he wasn't alone in this.

"Do you know who you are fighting?"

"Muraki." Hisoka almost snarled, his hate for his killer was strong and he had been feeding that hate with each encounter.

"No child. It is not that simple."

"What-?"

"Come let me show you something."

The star chart was unrolled. "Dearest Tsuzuki is caught in a power struggle he isn't really aware of, in two days he will have to play a significant role in deciding who stays in power. His decision or indecision will certainly cause a shift in the balance."

"I don't understand this, perhaps if Watari-"

"NO. This is not a matter of science. It is you who must find a way." Hakushaku wanted to say something more, but decided against it.

"A way to what?"

"Back to Tsuzuki's heart."

"Does this have anything to do with his _'amnesia'_?"

"As I said his decision or indecision will bring a shift in the balance. This amnesia could make him more open to manipulation. Unfortunately, his decision whether biased or not will also decide his future."

An uneasy silence came over them as they thought of the possible implications. It was terribly unfair for decision of this magnitude forced on Tsuzuki's shoulders without him having sufficient guidance.

"That's terrible. Really!"

"I will help you in anyway I can, but children you are facing enemies who have been waiting for this opportunity for centuries."

Suddenly Muraki did not feel like such a threat but there was no comfort in that thought when Hisoka considered it was because there were other adversaries to also consider.

Muraki smiled as Tsuzuki came to join him. "You smell really nice."

"It's your soap."

"No. I mean it you smell really nice. But-" The doctor asserted as he came even closer, backing his guest into a table.

Tsuzuki braced himself against the table, unsure of what to say or do. This was too close for comfort.

"-your collar." The doctor took hold of the collar and straightened it out. "There perfect."

"Uhm thank you." Tsuzuki didn't know why but he felt really embarrassed.

"Come we have a busy day today."

"Where are we going?"

"It's not good for you to be cooped up in the house. You need fresh air and activities to stimulate your mind and body." Muraki opened the door and gestured for his guest to follow.

Tsuzuki was beginning to get tired of the doctor avoiding his questions.

"Don't make such a face Tsuzuki-san. It would seem as if you don't trust me."

"I'm sorry." The shinigami bit his lip with guilt, stirring a familiar pain in his heart.

"Don't worry. Just relax. I'll take care of you. I promise."

_'Why shouldn't I? After all he has done for me.'_ Tsuzuki smiled as he went to the doctor.

Muraki smiled back. _'So naïve.'_

(1) I am referring to the book that was writing itself in manga number 5. If you don't know what that is please visit "theria" on the web.

_Additional information regarding previous chapter:_

_I deliberately choose the fruit to be a mango. Mango in Tagalog is "mangga" sounds a lot like "manga". The legends of the mango show a relation to the human heart and death. I know of two versions. One was about filial love. The second is about a bride-to-be who commits suicide._

_In "The King of Swords" Arc, we discover that Muraki did heart surgery on Tsubaki._

_So in the previous chapter when Muraki takes the mango and the knife…_

_I hope that doesn't discourage anyone from eating mangoes. Bright naturally ripened yellow mangoes are good! Warning some mangoes are ripened artificially, these do not taste as good as the ones that get ripe on the tree. Dried mangoes are okay but not when you can have the real thing. Green unripe mangoes are also popular but these aren't sweet at all. Going into Tsuzuki sweet tooth mode Sweet toothed people must try mango cake and mango ice cream when they get the chance._

December 22, 2004

Next update, next year.


	9. Haunted House

Warning: I am giving you an update, but it is not much. This is just to reassure you that this story is still alive.

------

Watari was pursuing every lead possible in hopes of finding their missing friend. He secretly hoped that the doctor would get careless but he knew that it would never be that easy. There was even a part of him thinking that Muraki was leaving just enough clues to mislead them. He had been searching for hours but Tsuzuki and the doctor were not turning up in any of his searches. He was even tracking weather patterns hoping to find signs of unusual activity. He had been working relentlessly for hours with only 003 by his side. Then a sudden inspiration had the scientist check land titles owned by Muraki's family during the 1920's, one property seemed promising, it was only a few miles away. Hacking into the death list, he was able to confirm that this was where Tsuzuki had died. It was highly probable that Tsuzuki would be there with Muraki.

He had his hand on the phone ready to call Tatsumi, when he thought better of it. He knew Tatsumi and Bon were at the Castle of Candles. He also knew how well Muraki could push their buttons especially with Tsuzuki. He also knew that the secretary would throw a serious fit about him using restricted resources. He was certain Tatsumi would punish him for hacking into the death list, and somehow "highly probable" was not high enough odds to bet on the secretary to be merciful. There was only the slimmest possible chance for Tatsumi to forgive him **if **Tsuzuki was actually there. It would be best to hedge his bets, especially in a life or death situation.

"Just a little bit of reconnaissance work." The inventor rationalized to his owl, as he selected some special items for his journey.

------

Tsuzuki closed his eyes, enjoying the fresh morning air. The doctor was right he decided as he took another deep breath. "Wow!" He remarked as he looked at the tall towering trees, not realizing that these trees were just as old as he was.

"There is even more to see." Muraki reassured him, as he led his unsuspecting victim deeper into the woods.

Such diverse flora and fauna had the amnesia patient stopping here and there to take a closer look, like a child seeing everything for the first time and seeing only good. Brilliant amethyst eyes sparkled with child-like delight, and his whole face shone with wonder. The doctor's encyclopedic knowledge impressing him even more.

Playing the role of guardian, Muraki vigilantly watched every move of Tsuzuki. They did not seem to have a real direction, it seemed like an ordinary walk in the woods to his trusting charge, but the doctor had carefully planned out every step they were now taking leading to-

"There's an old house!" His ward cried out eagerly.

'Oh Tsuzuki-san if you only knew.' The doctor laughed to himself. This was his grandfather's clinic. It had served as a hospital decades ago, where Tsuzuki himself had spent his final years for 'treatment' until his final breath. The house had fallen into disuse after Muraki Yukitaka died but it still stood unrelenting against the ravages of time. For decades, secret experiments were carried out here, sanctioned by people blinded by the illusion of their power, believing they had the power and the right as to who would live and who would die. There were still possible traces of evidence if you knew what to look for, but who would bother for a fruitless cause? Those directly involved were all dead. Besides the victims of their crimes were social misfits, no one missed them then, so no one would miss them now. Just like Tsuzuki. "This was my grandfather's house."

"It is?" Tsuzuki's curiosity was certainly raised, just as the master manipulator knew it would be. "Can we go inside?"

Muraki pretended to be hesitant about exploring the house, but delivered an award winning performance of conceding reluctantly when he felt ready to spring his trap. "Oh, alright but only for a little while."

His ward was like an excited child presented with a large closed cardboard box. An adult would try to be reasonable about expectations, even going so far as to rationalizing that the box was empty and there was nothing to get excited about; but a child could make believe that there was some great mystery just waiting for him, and Tsuzuki was doing precisely that. The first room was obviously empty, but an empty box while disappointing to an adult could still hold a world of possibilities to an imaginative mind. The initial emptiness wasn't enough to discourage Tsuzuki so he stepped inside.

It was quiet, really quiet, as if the songs of the birds and the sounds of all other life outside couldn't be heard from within. The house had a voice of its own calling to him. He felt drawn to go deeper into the house.

The shinigami almost stepped back out of the room when he felt himself seized by some unknown terror. He seemed to be caught in a trance, seeing and no seeing at the same time. He felt as if he was going to faint. The world was spinning and falling apart as he was seeing images off his past and his present collide.

_The doctor... was it the doctor? It was his doctor, but he wasn't Muraki. No. He was Muraki but he wasn't the Muraki that Tsuzuki knew. Screams of pain in this house… it wasn't a house any more… but more screams… pain… Fire… a fire bird…a woman of fire… warm… loving… Hot burning flames… a man whose eyes were hidden… a large, large snake… panic… fear… someone calling his name… drowning… jellyfish… water… tiger… river… dragon…rain…thunder… lighting… so sad… yet hopeful… romantic? Other images and impressions washed over him… real or imagined he wasn't _sure… _some of them were too astounding to be real… flying in an open sky… battling beast…yet they felt all to real… bleeding… dying… crying so hard… the pain … the pain in his heart… the smell of blood against his face… eyes looking at him with hate…_

------

Watari spotted some of Muraki's barrier items, he knew from their positioning that they were to keep spirits in rather than keeping them out. Muraki must be hoping to trap demons to enslave them for his own malicious schemes. Watari knew he had to watch his step more than ever. He could get to Tsuzuki quite easily, but if he was only going to be trapped with his friend, it wouldn't be helping anybody.

There were some permeations of an ancient decaying evil, it wasn't only the sins of Muraki that had corrupted this place, which had a façade of paradise on earth.

------

Tsuzuki felt strong arms he knew to be the doctor's were holding him firmly but gently. "Help me sensei!" Came the small and terrified plea before he was once again in a maelstrom of images.

_Terrifying giant beast coming for him… evil so thick he could almost feel it hanging over him… terrible pain from his left shoulder burning steadily into the rest of his body… He could hear voices screaming and shouting… A bossy young man lashing out at him… he was crying… hurt… hurt so bad he just wanted to die… an overly energetic blonde laughing…roses surrounding him then overwhelming him… seeing himself reflected back from someone's eyes… desperate desire… all consuming…can't breathe… heart hurts…_

Muraki carried the delirious Tsuzuki into the room he had prepared. His heart stirred at the knowledge of having the most desirable young body in his arms blindly seeking comfort from him, only from him.

------

For all his scientific knowledge, Watari was lost on his feelings seeing Tsuzuki being tended to so tenderly by the nefarious doctor Muraki. He told himself his feelings were irrelevant and he had to concentrate on getting their friend to safety.

Tsuzuki seemed to be having some kind of attack but Watari still remained hidden. Muraki kicked away one of his crystals from the formation ending Tsuzuki's ordeal.

------

Tsuzuki opened his eyes to find an unfamiliar ceiling, marked with fine lines revealing old age.

"Can you hear me Tsuzuki-san?" The doctor asked him softly.

He nodded his head in response, he winched at the sudden pain. "What happened?"

"You fainted." Muraki closed the gap between him and his troubled patient who instinctively held on to the doctor's sleeves. "Do you remember anything?"

"I… was… seeing things." He began slowly then eased his grip from the doctor's sleeves. He planted one hand on the bed to help him keep his balance and the other to cover his face. "It was like a dream but it felt more real… and scary. You were there… but you also weren't."

He stopped talking as another wave of nausea rocked his body. The doctor brought a cup of some dark liquid to his lips. He thought the medicine was strange for he had expected it to be bitter, and found it oddly sweet.

The shinigami was silent as he tried to piece the images together, they had been so clear and yet unreal. The doctor had him lie back into the bed, stroking through his hair repeatedly, it was comforting and beginning to lull him to sleep when from half lidded eyes he turned to the window and it seemed strangely familiar, but the view was different, he couldn't see the sky, the trees were too tall. He could almost swear that he was here before, but why would he think that when the house had been abandoned for generations? He must really be going crazy.

"You must have over exerted yourself." The doctor intoned sympathetically, as he adjusted the blanket. "A more relaxing activity may be in order."

The nausea finally rolled away but the shinigami still did not feel too steady. "More relaxing?"

"It's a pity there was so much more I wanted to show you."

Tsuzuki looked up to find the doctor's face holding such disappointment that he felt a pang of guilt. The doctor was going through so much trouble for him, surely he could

make more of an effort to be less difficult. "I'm sorry I ruined your plans."

"Life doesn't always go according to plan but I am adaptable." The doctor said cryptically as he turned his eyes away.

"Is something wrong?"

Muraki smiled reassuring. "Nothing to concern yourself about my dearest Tsuzuki-san." However, he was moving towards the door.

Tsuzuki tried to rise, but the doctor held him down. "You must rest. Let me take care of it."

He wanted to protest. He wanted to help but as the doctor laid a hand on his forehead, he found it impossible to keep his eyes open.

'_Nothing bad is going to happen, the doctor is here to take care of you.'_

Then complete darkness.

------

January , 2005

Why do I warn Muraki fans to stay away?

Well, it is possible I will have Muraki die. Maybe, maybe not.

It is impossible for me to end a story as Muraki/Tsuzuki.

Isn't that enough reasons for Muraki fans to stay away?

If you feel that strongly about Muraki or anyone else, then write your own story.

If you are a Muraki fan who has made it all this way by ignoring warnings, I give up trying to discourage you.

I highly recommend Tessa Marlene's "The Trial" there is a reason why it has almost 200 reviews (or it may have past that count by the time I post this). If you are only reading R-rated fics, you are missing one great multi-chapter story.

Next update, next month.


	10. Safe House

Warnings and disclaimers were in the earlier chapters.

You know how to read, that's why you're here. I know how to read too and sometimes I read bios. Why do broadcast your age? Are you inviting cyber stalkers or are you the potential cyber stalker? Is that my muse suggesting another story?

* * *

Muraki could not help himself from taking a moment to linger over Tsuzuki in his trance state. The light in amethyst like eyes had been somewhat dulled but still retained their captivating brilliance. The doctor would have liked nothing better than to be with Tsuzuki, but he was certain that they were alone in the house. He erected a barrier around his patient before searching out the source of the disturbance.

The disturbance had only been the slightest shift in the spiritual aura of the house, which did not even trigger any of the traps. He had hoped that his traps would have ensured his privacy with his treasure but someone or something must have avoided his pre-set traps. He prided himself on his spiritual sense and felt it better to trust his own instincts that on any security system.

He did a double take on finding an owl. Was this the cause of the disturbance? An owl in daytime? The owl immediately took off after spotting him, fleeing through some gap in the ceiling. Was the small size of the owl the reason none of the traps were activated? There was something not quite natural, but the owl did not seem to be a threat to him. He extended his senses searching for a moment. Nothing but a faint trail matching the way the owl had taken.

He returned to his patient. He had to think for a moment. He had drugged Tsuzuki expecting he would have to deal with some intruder, quite possibly the shinigamis or demons. He knew there were others after Tsuzuki. He had pretended nonchalance when they left the hospital, but he knew the shinigami were on his trail. After they got into the car, Tsuzuki fell asleep in minutes from the methaqualone he slipped him earlier in the examination room, he had then taken evasive maneuvers to elude their hunters. He couldn't keep sending Tsuzuki into unconsciousness, his patient would get suspicious. "What am I going to do with you, Tsuzuki-san?"

He looked into deep into vacant eyes, just admiring those unusual eyes. Not just those eyes, they were the most obvious clue to the mystery of Tsuzuki's body but not the only thing to be admired. The perfect body… his for the taking right now…

No. Wait. There was another disturbance and this time there was no effort in being subtle. A storm of power can down forcing him away from his patient.

"What!"

In the eye of the storm there was stillness. Muraki was surprised to find not one intruder but a thousand slimy crawly things all around the room. There was only a small clearing for him to stand on. Tsuzuki was surrounded yet remained undisturbed by those creatures. His patient seemed unhurt but still in his trance.

Quickly the doctor rose to his feet, preparing to defend himself and to regain possession of his treasure. The traps had been useless blown away by the attack. They had proven useless. The owl had been able to slip into the net; these things slipped through and then decimated his traps from within, just pawns to let the big fish come. He could sense them just seconds before they revealed themselves. Five beings who looked like ninjas but each bearing a different seal on their foreheads, and unearthly feisty eyes.

"This was supposed to be a private party."

The doctor's taunt was only met with silence. Not one of these interlopers made a move to come closer, but as one of them had eyes glowed brighter than all the others, he knew something was happening. Muraki took a fighting stance but the eyes only grew brighter. Then those slimy leeches threw themselves at him. He had a shield but a shield needs power. These things easily fed off that power and then they went after him. He felt it from the inside; he was slipping away from the world. It was like dying but worse for he felt his very soul crumbling. "Aaaah….aaa…" His vision began to dim and he looked to where Tsuzuki was. Was this the last thing he would ever see? "Tsu-" he tried to call out but his voice failed him. How could this happen when he was so close?

One those ninjas tied a blindfold around Tsuzuki's wondrous eyes, adding insult to injury for the doctor, who was trying to call on his powers but nothing was working. There was no way he would be able to save himself this time. No way at all. 'Tsuzuki-san!'

It seemed Tsuzuki heard him. "Se…n…se…i?"

His attackers took notice off Tsuzuki's waking from his catatonic state. Muraki hoped it was enough of a distraction to allow him to draw on his magic, vainly hoping to teleport before his attackers could recover from their surprise.

The ninjas standing closest to Tsuzuki was using force to restrain him. "HELP!"

There was an explosion and then the leeches began to drop off the doctor, sizzling into a gooey mess as they seemed to cry in pain then turning into dust. The dust made it hard for everyone to see.

"Sensei!"

Muraki's vision was completely clouded when he realized Tsuzuki was holding his wrist, pulling with urgency but not brutally. Some part of him knew they had teleported even before his vision cleared. He was surprised to find that Tsuzuki's friend Watari had teleported them out of there.

"Thank you for saving us." Exclaimed Tsuzuki with relief.

"Yes. Thank you very much." followed Muraki as he recovered enough of his wits to be polite to their unexpected hero.

Watari was silent as he regarded the doctor with angry eyes.

"Is something wrong?" Asked the patient, who sensing the tension in the air, felt he had to be the one to break the silence or something else would be broken.

The blonde drew closer to him putting some distance between him and the doctor. "Don't worry Tsuzuki your safe now."

"You know my name?"

"I'm your friend. Watari."

"I'm sorry but I don't remember. I don't remember a lot of things." 'I think I saw him at the house… but then- "How did we get here? And what were those things?" asked Tsuzuki as he sluggishly sat on the floor.

Muraki did not feel all too well but pride kept him standing. "About your first question I could show you." volunteered Muraki with a smile that implied other things.

"I don't think so." Watari was uncertain on how to explain anything to his memory-impaired friend, but was relieved that Tsuzuki was at least out of the doctor's arms reach.

Muraki watched his patient acquainting himself with the scientist's pet. 003 had nestled herself on Tsuzuki's shoulder, who was petting her softly. "You're a friendly little bird."

"That explains a few things." Muraki retorted.

Watari was getting desperate. Should he bind Muraki? Wouldn't that upset Tsuzuki? Did he have some emergency candy to buy some time? There seemed no need for it as Tatsumi choose that same moment to return with Kurosaki.

Tsuzuki was shocked and almost screamed, but before he could do anything, they called out his name in surprise, but Hisoka also took notice of Muraki. "What is HEdoing here?"

"Why does everyone know my name?"

"Because we are the ones who have been looking for you." Explained Watari with frightening cheer.

It frighten Tsuzuki to have someone take everything that had happened to him in the last half hour so casually. "Am I losing my mind?"

Muraki and Tatsumi eyed each other balefully. "Watari-san you must explain this!" Tatsumi roared without taking his eyes of the doctor.

Hisoka approached Tsuzuki to get him of the floor and maybe talk some sense into him.

"This isn't a very comfortable place for conversation… or for Tsuzuki-san. Perhaps a restaurant maybe better as it is almost lunch and dear Tsuzuki-san has had nothing since breakfast." He momentarily swaggered under growing fatigue.

"Not counting the potion you gave him an hour ago." Sneered Watari in a harsh whisper that everyone except Tsuzuki caught.

"Sensei!" Tsuzuki cried as Muraki feel on his knees. Hisoka instinctively held him back from returning to that madman's reach. "Please help him!"

"Tsuzuki you don't understand."

"I was trying to protect him." Replied Muraki

"Then let us go." Watari and Hisoka gapped at the secretary. Tatsumi agreeing with Muraki! The world is coming to an end.

"However you must understand this is only for Tsuzuki's sake."

"Oh I understand perfectly. There is a fairly private teahouse that I would suggest."

"I can see from the state of your clothing you had other business today. A restaurant may not be the best place for our group."

"They were attacked Tatsumi. Those things tried to take Tsuzuki."

"What can you tell us Tsuzuki-san?" Tatsumi wanted to hear more about 'those things' but he also had to make sure Tsuzuki was all right.

"I'm not sure what happened. I thought I was blind then it was just a blindfold and when I got it off there was a lot of smoke." He took a deep breath. "I could feel them hurting sensei but there was hardly any sound… I just knew they were going too kill him." He regarded these strangers who weren't really strangers with scared eyes. "I don't know why but I can sense you don't like sensei very much."

Hisoka had tried to keep calm but as Tsuzuki called Muraki "Sensei" he remembered Tsubaki-hime. That bastard! He should just-

Silence met Tsuzuki's statement. Muraki was as silent as the shinigamis, for he was most curious on how the shinigami's would take this.

"Tsuzuki-san I want you to know we would never do anything to hurt you."

Tsuzuki was silent hoping for more, but Muraki intervened. "Tsuzuki-san it's alright. I think it is in our best interest to work together."

"For now."

* * *

As a safety precaution Muraki's powers were bound but this didn't put the shinigami at rest. Muraki had surprised them before with unknown powers, they did not want to take another chance, still it was better than nothing. At least Muraki wouldn't be able to spirit Tsuzuki away at the first moment their heads were turned.

Watari explained the situation as best as he could. Tatsumi did scold him as expected but had been considerate enough to keep the shadows at bay. Muraki was disappointed at not seeing the shadows in action, which gave Tatsumi some satisfaction and Watari some consolation. Tsuzuki seemed more withdrawn as he tried to make sense of everything. Hisoka sat in silence, hoping and praying for a miracle about Tsuzuki's memory.

"I'm dead and yet I breathe? And there is this mysterious choice I have to make?"

It gave the poor clueless shinigami one major headache.

"So what happens now?"

"We have to find out who attacked you earlier."

"Watari-san you must not use the network that way." Reminded Tatsumi as his eyes promised a glimpse of hell if disobeyed.

"I know. I know. It was only because I was desperate!" Pleaded the scientist in a most pitiful manner.

"It would be best for all concerned for Tsuzuki-san to come home to Meifu."

"No!" protested Muraki but no one was really listening to him.

* * *

tbc

First posted February 1, 2005

Revised February 28, 2005

The muse has been wicked, and at times downright cruel. This wasn't the chapter I had in mind at first but the others were ended up as dead ends.

No promise on when the next update will be, trying to keep some quality in the work.

Reviews that are carefully thought out are most appreciated!

* * *

OMAKE

Muraki protesting that author should rewrite this chapter to give him more solo time with Tsuzuki. "You had such great ideas for me and Tsuzuki's night out in the city. We were suppose to have our romantic dinner the light house and then go to the theater house!"

"I object!" Tatsumi storms in. "Makasarili-san I am sure you would agree, there are more than stories, where the doctor gets more 'action' that he certainly deserves!"

"Oh! You're just jealous!"

Makasarili signs lazily, uncaring about the two most dangerous semes of Yami. "You two should stay away from my muse. You are giving her conflicting ideas."

"Oh?" Watari grinning a most devious grin "Like what?"

"Aside from the 'action' most Muraki fans crave. Muraki loses his head literally, ending up looking a lot like Saki." Tatsumi feels strangely satisfied with the image, even though he looked ready to kill the author for even entertaining Muraki 'action' with Tsuzuki.

"You wouldn't do that to me!" screams Muraki.

"Why do you think I have been repeatedly warning your fans away?" Makasarili matches Watari's devious grin.

Muraki faints.


	11. Jail house

Warnings: Slow lazy writer.

* * *

Muraki woke up in a hospital bed. It took him a moment to register what had happened in the last few hours. He had Tsuzuki's complete trust. He was the only one who had brought Tsuzuki close enough to scratch the surface of his memories. The shinigamis had bound most of his powers, he saw no need to make himself completely defenseless by pointing out that they missed a spot or two. In exchange for binding his powers, he was under the protection of the shinigamis and could still see Tsuzuki.

"Sensei?"

"Ah, Tsuzuki-san it is always wonderful to see you." The doctor smiled as he saw his favorite patient playing the role of nurse. The smile faltered when he noticed that brat glaring at him from the corner.

"Those things drained you so close to death." muttered the sympathetic shinigami, his concern clearly showing in his honest eyes.

"There is no need for you to worry." Muraki knew that he could easily recover if he could just feed off some spiritual energy, but none of the shinigamis would volunteer. Perhaps his puppet would be of use. "Are you alright my dearest Tsuzuki-san?"

Tsuzuki blushed not at the words themselves but how sensei said it with so much sensuality, it almost felt as if Muraki had caressed him merely with those words. The blush grew deeper as he saw himself reflected back in those magnetic silvery eyes.

Hisoka was immediately furious he snatched Tsuzuki's hand away from the easy reach of the doctor. In doing so, the empathic shinigami grazed his murderer's skin for the barest instant. _"Do you really think you can protect him?"_

"Hey kid, what is with you?"

Kid. That was what Tsuzuki was calling him when they first met, before they got around to calling each other by name. "Tsuzuki!" His voice was grating compared to the smooth tone of the doctor. Green eyes flashed with annoyance. "Baka!"

In that moment something seemed to snap into place in Tsuzuki's mind, but it did not have the desired effect Hisoka had been praying for. His partner backed away as if he had been physically struck, amethyst eyes seemed to sparkle with unshed tears.

"Verbally abusing your partner, may not be the smartest thing to do bouya." Came the snide remark most cleverly disguised as a gentle reprimand. Hisoka turned to the doctor to give him a piece of his mind, when Muraki grabbed hold of his wrists.

The boy panicked. "Let me go."

"He deserves better." Hissed the doctor as he launched his psychic attack.

It took some time before Hisoka recognized the danger he was in. The danger his defenseless partner was in. It was too late as he slumped to the floor in what appeared to be a faint.

Tsuzuki gave a small cry as he approached to help. "Ah!"

Muraki made a miraculous recovery and instantly had his arm around the bewildered shinigami. "We have to go."

"You can't be serious! You can't just leave him like that!" Those extraordinary eyes were bewitching with their primal emotions. "We have to help him!"

"It's not safe here for you." Remarked the doctor evenly, one arm kept his distraught patient in place. The other was stroking the soft strands of fine honey brown hair.

"But!"

Muraki ended the argument with one well place strike. Surprised amethyst eyes screamed of betrayal before they fell shut. He was just about to teleport when a sudden darkness came, cutting their escape short.

* * *

The jailers sealed Muraki's powers more thoroughly.

Tatsumi watched impassively as Muraki was physically punished for his treason. It did not satisfy the secretary's sense of justice. He was a mere spectator. The torture was specifically chosen to leave the doctor's body unmarked. This task had also fallen to the jailers.

"Do you hear me Tatsumi-san!" Muraki raved just like the lunatic that he was, so Tatsumi turned a deaf ear to pretty much everything the doctor said, screamed or shouted.

The secretary was busy contemplating how Tsuzuki had been betrayed. His friend had lost all his faith in Muraki, which was good, the doctor simply wasn't trustworthy. That did not mean however, that his friend would be so desperate to trust the first person that came along.

"You can't make him happy!"

The shadow master concluded that it wasn't just Muraki who had to be punished. He had failed Tsuzuki. He had barely foiled Muraki's escape, but the doctor was never suppose to get that close to escape in the first place. Now his friend's heart was crushed. He had failed Kurosaki. The young shinigami made a full recovery from Muraki's attack, but still it was sheer foolishness on his part to have given Muraki the opportunity. He should have foreseen it. He had failed them both.

All he could hope was that they would not fail each other.

The doctor lost consciousness, and dragged away to his cell. Enma's orders were clear enough. Kill him if he tries to escape. Under no circumstances is he to see anyone unless they carried Enma's personal seal.

* * *

"Tsuzuki?" Called out Hisoka uncertainly.

Tsuzuki had a lot on his mind and the others were unable to listen to him, having their preconceived notions and their memories. He was trying to reconcile the kind gentle Muraki he knew with the psychotic the shinigamis made him out to be and the man who was taken away just a few hours ago.

Hisoka was glad to have his partner was back. He was safe… nevertheless, even if he was now merely inches away, he had never been more distant. This void of emotions was reminiscent of the time Saagatanus had possessed him, but there was a difference. No one was controlling him, but had essentially cut away Tsuzuki from his past.

"Tsuzuki!" called the young shinigami with more urgency.

"Oh!" Cried his partner as he fell off his chair, "Hello. You startled me."

"The chief wants to see you." Hisoka's tone softened.

Violet eyes became shadowed.

The boy fixed a stare squarely on his partner, who mistook it for a glare. "Did you hear me?"

Tsuzuki blinked at this. The boy reached out to touch him after some hesitation, to offer some comfort. Tsuzuki backed away.

"I-" Hisoka knew he had to say something, but was lost. "You-"

"Need to see the chief." Tsuzuki smiled; but violet eyes wore a guarded expression as he told himself to stop being so sensitive.

It was an unpleasant fact that not everybody was going to be nice all the time. It was just one of those facts of life, that carried over into his afterlife. He made a quick exit before the boy could say another word. Sensei had always treated him with respect, but apparently had a hidden agenda. He walked with a quick stride to the chief's office, but still sensei's warning kept repeating in his mind. _"It's not safe here for you."_

"Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!" Wailed the empathic shinigami in his mind, as he watched his partner go.

* * *

Muraki drew breathe through his tortured lungs. He checked his body and saw that they had been careful to leave him unmarked. He knew they could have simply killed him and sent him on his way.

He knew that the secretary would have wanted to take a more intimate role in his punishment if he had been allowed the opportunity. It would surely have been more brutal, more bloody and most of all more personal.

He looked out of his cell and found jailers.

He smiled. Jailers were no shinigami.

Besides, he was a gambling man, as high as the stakes were the reward was a true treasure. One he could almost taste.

* * *

The chief spoke with Tsuzuki at length, and even without eavesdropping Hisoka knew that Konoe Kacho was deeply concerned. Usually emotions this strong were what he felt from Tsuzuki. It was more than just a professional relationship. The chief would never admit it, but Tsuzuki was almost like a son to him. Physical walls could not keep in the concern the old man had for their most senior field agent. Hisoka tried to ignore them, feeling he was invading into a private matter. If he needed to know, then he would be invited to join them.

It was impossible not to feel for Tsuzuki in some way. Even if no one else but Hisoka wanted that troublemaker as a partner, no one could leave unaffected by the enigma that was Tsuzuki. Tsuzuki who was as useless as a lamp in daylight they said, but when they thought they had lost him, the sun was not enough to brighten their spirits. Even Terazuma who would shamelessly insult Tsuzuki to his face, felt the lost personally and bitterly.

God, what a mess he had made! How inconsiderate of his partner's fragile state! Was he determined to push his partner over the brink!

The chief decided to send Tsuzuki to Gensokai. It was hoped that Tsuzuki's shinigamis might help their friend remember. After all, he had been with his shinigamis longer than he had been with any of his countless partners. Tatsumi agreed with this course of action, even if it pained him to know he would be unable to see his friend. It was without question that Kurosaki-kun would be joining his partner.

They were all hoping for the best, conscious of the deadline the count had warned them about.

* * *

February 28, 2005

Just so you know, I made some modifications to chapter 10.

Next update will be in April, or later. (Whisper from my cruel side "Is that April in 2005 or 2006?")


	12. Household

DISCLAIMER: There has been no supernatural or natural event to make Yami No Matsuei mine.

WARNINGS: This chapter has been harder to write because my muse was taking me into three separate directions and leaving me lost by the end of each one. I may just replace this chapter later on if it proves to difficult to continue.

* * *

Muraki was surprised to have the door open. He squinted to see something shining in the darkness exchange hands… Enma's personal seal…a visitor for him?

"It has been along time Kazutaka."

The doctor could not hide his surprise. "Saki-?"

Saki drew back the hood to reveal his face. He was certainly taller now than when he died so many years ago. He had died as a boy barely touching the surface of manhood, but he stood as a proud and powerful man. Muraki could still see the arrogant smirk on the bastard's face.

"What are you doing here?"

His half brother laughed which further infuriated the doctor. "To see you of course."

He must really be insane. He could not believe a word of what he was hearing. It must surely be some pathetic trick. "I promised I wouldn't die without killing you first." He swore as he cautiously eyed this thing before him.

"I am the one who died before my time."

"You killed them! Father! Mother!" Screamed Muraki as he launched himself against his brother, fixing his hands around a solid neck. It was seamless connection.

"That is how you remember it." Saki smirked as he easily pushed the doctor off him and then locked his arm behind. "You may have improved dear brother, but still not good enough."

"I will kill you with my bare hands." Muraki tried to reverse his position but it was futile.

"You had our dearest Tsuzuki-san in the same position at Oriya's. Didn't you?"

The doctor roared like a beast as he continued to struggle with his nemesis. "Our Tsuzuki-san? I think not! He's mine! I am not sharing him with you or anyone!"

"Enma-Daioh is going to give him to me, as compensation."

"He wouldn't!"

Again more laughter. "And who are you to decide what a god will do?"

"There are no rewards for sinners only damnation." Muraki struggled to reclaim his calm, to push down his boiling anger against his brother for his crimes and his anger with himself for forgetting his shell of hate.

"But I am no murderer. You however have broken the divine law by taking life and making life defying the celestial will." Saki also seemed to relax as he released Muraki and seated himself in front of Muraki.

"There is no evidence." The doctor took the hint to act civil … for now.

"And there is no evidence that I killed father or your mother."

"Liar. You killed them and then you tried to kill me."

"Poor Kazutaka you were so naïve back then and you still haven't figured it out."

"I should have been the one to finish you off." The doctor whispered sounding wistful.

"And after that you think you and Tsuzuki-san would be on the same page? Enma-Daioh has decided otherwise and I plan to use my time with him more effectively than the three days you had with him."

"What do you know?" Muraki leaned a little closer showing a quiet interest, but both parties knew it was not as casual as it sounded.

Saki smiled it sounded almost like a challenge, so he replied. "You are not the only one gifted with the sight, you are always spying on him, and I was watching you from the tank. Sixteen years and there was nothing to break my concentration. I was watching over you the entire time."

"You were a terrible guardian." _You bastard!_

"Father loved me more than you."

"You-" _bastard!_

"It was only your grandfather's money that bought your legitimacy. You would have been the bastard. Father loved my mother more."

"LIAR!" Growled Muraki abandoning the façade of politeness, there was no reasoning with this beast who had Saki's face.

"You stole my life!"

"I did no such thing!"

"Hmmm. You're right. They stole my life to give it to you."

"What are you talking about?"

"Your mother, grandfather and the butler. They made life hell for me and mother before she killed herself to get father to take care of me. It was your mother's guilt that drove her insane."

"You lie!"

"You are blind." Saki seemed so sad and full of pity when he said this, but Muraki only deemed it as an act.

"You filthy bastard! DAMN YOU!"

"I can't get my life back and you have made a frightful waste of yours but Tsuzuki-san has so much potential. Wouldn't you agree?

"Leave him out of this."

"Would you like to watch dear brother? Would you like me to show you how to get intimate with our dearest Tsuzuki-san? You are always watching him."

"He's mine."

"You had your chance, now it's my turn."

Muraki let out a curse, not just a string of words, one with power; enough to stained the walls and the floor with fresh blood...

* * *

TBC 

April 15, 2005


	13. Housebreaking

Warnings and disclaimers were in the previous chapters, and I see no reason why you would be reading this chapter without having read those chapters.

I have no doubt there are better writers out there, but I seriously doubt that flaming will enhance any worthwhile writing skills (unless you are or you want to be a certain Simon).

Housebreaking

* * *

It was a delight for the shikigamis to hear Tsuzuki's unbridled laughter, Byakko, Kijin and Tenkou in particular reveled in it and sought to out do each other to keep him laughing; but each laugh seemed to push his partner deeper and deeper into brooding silence.

Rikugou took it upon himself to speak with the young shinigami. They left the others at the balcony where more food and drink were continued to be served. They took a quiet stroll around the gardens where they could speak openly.

"Don't you have a cure for him?" Hisoka asked softly but bitterly, it was easy to see that he really needed to express his frustration. The shikigami could also see weariness.

"Laughter is supposedly the best medicine."

An echo of Tsuzuki's now distant laughter seemed to agree.

"What about his memory?" Sighed the young shinigami. "What if he never remembers?"

"Have some patience. It may seem to you that they are only having fun but I have no doubt they are deeply concerned just as you are." The gentle laughter persisted to follow them, but grew softer with each step they took.

"I know that in my head but in my heart… I haven't heard him laugh or seen him smiling so much since we found him… and every time I speak to him I only seem to hurt him."

"He came here with you. Only you. That must mean something."

The youth was silent. He wanted to believe. He looked back to where they came from where his partner was, but they were too far now. "I know I should be happy that he is happy here, but he still doesn't remember me… and I thought I would be of more importance to him."

"If he never remembers his past will you leave him?"

"NO!"

Rikugou smiled. It reminded Hisoka of Watari. Watari was always smiling but he had different smiles. There was the annoying cheerful, conspiring cheerful, glutton grin, wicked grin, the patented "I am the genius of Meifu", "Tatsumi won't see it if I just smile wide enough", idiotic beam, so sad and still I smile, smiles are free standard grin and a host of other smiles which were yet to be discovered. The scientist must have as many smiles as he had experiments. Rikugou's smile was the same as Watari's everything is going to be fine and I know it.

Hisoka still had to discover his own smile, but his eyes were more expressive that he gave himself credit for. Rikugou understood. He was an expert in eyes after all he had more than his fair share.

"_I remember. It's never zero. I won't let go."_ Hisoka promised himself. _"I will be the one who saves him. I won't fail."_

"I think we should head back now."

* * *

Muraki looked down his side to see himself bleeding. He slid to the floor weakly. It was his blood on the walls and the floor, his, not that bastard's blood.

"My poor brother." Saki intoned as he loomed over him solicitously. "Why did you hurt yourself?"

The doctor did not understand why this was happening. Saki should be the one hurt not him.

"Your little spell didn't work as you planned."

Impossible, it was impossible but undeniably here he was covered with his own blood and losing more each moment. It was only a matter of time before he would bleed to death. Every breath he took was laced with intense pain, but he could not stop, to stop would be death – literally.

"You don't have to be afraid my brother."

Too many wounds… too much blood loss… too much pain…

"I can't let you die on me." Saki uncorked a bottle and poured the contents liberally on Muraki. It was strange that for quite a little container it poured out so much soaking the doctor thoroughly. The smallest wounds were healed immediately but instead of regaining his strength, the doctor felt his body getting heavier.

Through half lidded eyes Muraki watched his half brother bandaging him. He had never felt so humiliated. "Don't touch me!" Came his feeble protest in raspy whisper.

"Then how can I help you?" Came the mock scolding with that ever-familiar leer.

"I don't want your help!"_ I want you dead._ Hissed the doctor but it did not sound at all threatening when his voice was so hoarse. His wounds were gone but he was so tired; he just wanted this stupid game to be finished.

"Do you truly insist on continuing this rivalry between us? You should have let it go after I died but no you have allowed yourself to be consumed by it for more than half your life."

"What do you care?"

"I care more than you would believe. You want to live don't you?"

He closed his eyes. Yes, he did, but he would never admit that to the one he hated the most. It was more torturous to feel Saki healing him than the jailers killing him. _Go away back to whatever hole you crawled out off._

"Besides we still have to see our dearest Tsuzuki-san."

The dctor's eyes snapped open. "What-?" Muraki was not sure if he was hearing right; he was so tired and sluggish.

"After all who would be a better judge to end our little sibling rivalry?" Saki smiled so smugly.

Muraki wanted to strangle him but having no strength to raise his hand or voice he just closed his eyes to spare himself so such a vile sight.

"It will be over, soon enough."

For the first time the doctor agreed with his half brother. "One way or another."

* * *

Hisoka woke up in the middle of the night to find Tsuzuki sleeping soundly in the bed next to him. For a moment he could almost believe he was with the old Tsuzuki; that this just their first time in Gensokai and he didn't have to worry about anything outside this room. He knew it was a lie, his partner still felt like a blank wall, even when he was already touching him. Ordinarily he could feel the emotions of that simple hearted and simple-minded shinigami even when he was sleeping from across the room.

It was so distressing to him that his partner was like a child in so many ways, going into everything whole heartedly, leaving no reserves, leaving himself so open to attack, and as Muraki would say "so naïve"; and yet these same elements were the ones that held his heart bound to his partner.

He looked back at the sleeping man, and then looked away. He needed to clear his head. He couldn't sleep… It was just so hot for him but his partner was wrapped up so tight and snug in his blanket.

Close your eyes go to sleep. He tried he really tried…

His gaze drifted to the window. He looked out of it. The garden was so alive and the gentle sway of the branches in the cool midnight wind. It was most alluring to Hisoka who felt consequently stifled in the room; surely a walk would do him not harm… he decided against it remembering another night, but he could open the window. He opened the window and then caught a reflection behind him.

"Give it back!" cried the young girl, who resembled him most disturbingly.

"What you again?" He remembered seeing her in a dream during his first visit to Gensokai. Was he dreaming again?

The girl was sitting on Tsuzuki's bed. One of her hands was holding one of his.

"Get away from him!"

She didn't move, she only glared at him. His sleeping partner groaned in his sleep. Hisoka didn't know what to do but found himself moving up to them.

Tsuzuki was trembling ever so slightly caught in some nightmare. Then his was pushing against some unseen prison.

"Tsuzuki!" The girl was one and Hisoka had his full attention on his partner. "Tsuzuki!" he called again and again but his cries when unheard.

"How could you leave me!" 

"Tsuzuki! Wake up!"

"_**Hisoka!"**_

It was then that Hisoka opened his eyes and found that he was the one who had been dreaming. He saw himself reflected back by wide deep lavender irises.

"Kid. Are you okay?"

"I AM NOT A KID!"

Tsuzuki fell off the bed but was smiling as he got back up.

"What are you smiling about?"

"Anybody who protest as loud as that has to be fine."

Hisoka was stupefied for a moment before rejoining with "BAKA!"

His partner just laughed. "Go to sleep… KID!"

The boy was furious and threw a pillow forcefully at his partner.

"Thank you for the pillow!" Tsuzuki sang out as he made a big show of sinking into his extra pillow.

Hisoka glared at him. There were many pillows around and Hisoka could easily get any one of those but he was thinking of something else.

"Is something wrong?" Came the almost apologetic question.

"No. Let's get some sleep."

"Don't you want you pillow back?"

"No."

"Are you mad?"

"I will be if you don't go to sleep right now."

"Hisoka I'm sorry. Please don't be mad."

Hisoka kept quiet.

"I'll… I'll go if you want."

"That is the last thing I want."

"Wha-?"

"Tsuzuki please just stay." _Don't ever go._

"Okay. I pro-"

"No. Don't promise. I wouldn't ask that, just stay."

"Okay."

"I- " The rest of the sentence was cut short. Darkness filled Hisoka's vision save for two inhuman eyes. He felt a tight grip close over his shoulders. He didn't feel hot anymore but now an icy grip was over his entire soul. He felt himself falling into that strange scarlet gaze and then he could hear a voice, a voice at once familiar and loathed.

"My puppet…" 

NO! He would not –

"_be good."_

He should not –

"_Bring Tsuzuki-san to me."_

NO!

"You want to save him don't you?" 

You won't help! You liar!

"What have you done for him? What have they done for him?" 

They –

"- _are not helping. You know that."_

I -

"_- can save him."_

NO! This isn't real. He could feel the hold slipping away and if he just opened his eyes he knew he would be in the room with Tsuzuki and there would be no monsters. This was just a dream. A dream where he thought he was awake but … this was just a dream.

"Are you sure about that?" 

Hisoka snapped his eyes open. The window was closed. His partner was sleeping. He took a couple of deep breaths to calm himself.

There are no monsters here.

"_Except the one inside of you."_

Hisoka felt his eyes open wider in disbelief. He was shaking. I am not like him. I am not! He looked around the room trying to find the source. Am I awake?

"_You want him. Don't you."_

Shut up!

"_You understand. Don't you."_

Shut up!

"_You can make him love you. You want that. Don't you."_

Shut up!

"_Surely more than anyone."_

Shut up!

"_You can't lie to me."_

Yes. He did. He wanted him. He wanted to be the one Tsuzuki would not be able to live without. He wanted everyone else to be in second place. They didn't understand Tsuzuki not the way he did, after all who saved him in Kyoto? He deserved better.

"_Let me teach you."_

I can't! This was a lie. I can't!

"_When there is a will, there is a way."_

Everything else in Hisoka became quiet all his doubts and inhibitions… only the desire remained and grew strong in his heart.

"Reach out with your empathy… make him feel your emotions…" 

Tsuzuki… Tsuzuki… love me…

* * *

Tsuzuki felt sick. He was just talking with Hisoka when he fainted. 

"Hisoka!"

Then he felt strange, he felt his own head burning from within. He had just wanted to make the boy feel better. Something was fighting to get out of him and there was something pushing to get into him. He was sick. He was scared. He was hurt. But so was his partner. What was happening? How could everything change so drastically? His last conscious memory was seeing the ceiling go further away from him.

"Tsuzuki! Open your eyes?"

"My eyes?" Tsuzuki blinked his eyes in confusion. "A dream?"

"It's okay. I'm here."

Tsuzuki's vision blurred as his eyes filled with tears. He didn't understand how a dream could shake him up so much. He buried himself to his partner's open arms. He felt so feverish but as Hisoka stroked his forehead, he felt cooler.

"Is that better?"

Tsuzuki muttered something unintelligible but the tone was agreeable.

"It was just a stupid nightmare my dearest." Hisoka held him and calmed him.

"I'm so glad you're here." Muttered Tsuzuki before he finally drifted off to sleep.

"Of course you are." Hisoka smirked as he stole a kiss. "You don't need anyone else."

As Tsuzuki slept, his partner pushed back his sleeves to see flaming lines of scarlet on his skin and black scales being to form.

"I won't let anyone take you away, ever again."

* * *

tbc 

June 17, 2005

Losing sight of my muse and so tempted to quit, but pride comes into play. All my other stories have endings.


	14. Bath house

Warnings: Slow lazy writer who is tempted to quit. However, instead of outright quitting reserves the right to change chapters (past and latest) as seen fit to bring story to some kind of conclusion. This writer has a strong tendency to write both good and crappy stories; therefore, reviews may help improve writing quality. I appreciate carefully thought out reviews, even if improvement may not show immediately. Anonymous flames can and will be deleted.

This is rated M. Please be of the correct age and relatively sound mind. There will be scenes of a sexual nature. I don't want to be banned. I assume those who want me to finish don't want me to be banned either.

Disclaimer: I don't even know what Ukyou's full name is how could I ever claim to own YnM?

Tsuzuki was in a deep slumber and it took all of Hisoka's will power not to take anything more than his stolen kiss. A sea of pillows surrounded his partner. The moonlight's kiss made skin glow with an unearthly quality, lashes cast shadows emphasizing were those sweet lips were waiting just for him, soft brown hair caressed by the wind framed that face as a picture of innocence, peace and perfection.

He could just imagine how that body would feel beneath him. To see amethyst eyes glazed over with pleasure for something other than sugar… to hear his name from those lips cried out in sheer ecstasy or whispered like a lover's secret… to feel their hearts as one… to hold his partner with an intimacy unmatched by anyone… even by Tatsumi.

"_Calm yourself!"_ He scolded himself in desperation. What was happening to his body? What was happening to him? Was he going crazy? He couldn't tell if he was awake or sleeping.

He fled to the bathroom. He needed to place some distance between him and his partner. His overly sensitive skin was screaming for his partner. He doused himself with freezing cold water repeatedly desperate to wash. He scrubbed furiously but it was useless, he could not wash the curse away. He scrubbed at his skin until it was raw, but as soon as he stopped, the healing would begin anyway, but the stain of sin stayed so firmly. He sank to the floor overcome with emotion. He could not let his partner down but what was he doing? He could not stay locked in the bath forever.

He calmed enough to see his own reflection in the water…but it was different. He almost screamed. He almost broke free, but then the phantom reached out of the water, no he was the water itself … and forced the young shinigami under. Hisoka tried to break free but as water filled his lungs he lost consciousness.

When his eyes opened again there was a different light behind them, and a sinister smile played upon his lips.

His partner was just getting out of bed when he finally came out of the bath. "Your ready already?" That beautiful face was even more enthralling with that sweet bewildered look. "Am I late?"

"No." Hisoka smiled. "You have time."

Tsuzuki breathed a sign of relief. "Oh good! I'll get ready now."

"We have time."

Amethyst eyes looked at into jade green eyes in perplexity but only got more confused as the younger shinigami continued to smile.

"Uh- what are you doing?" He didn't really know what to say but it seemed the most logical.

"I said I would take care of you so I will…" the way his voice trailed of was so suggestive Tsuzuki found it impossible not to blush. "You look like a rose…"

"But I -"

Hisoka cut his protest short by laying a finger against his lips. Tsuzuki felt a charge of electricity pass through his entire body, as soft lips came upon his, at first tender then deepening with intense undeniable passion. Tsuzuki was surprised at how he just melted with his young partner's touch, it should be okay as long as it was only lips… but at some point he knew it wasn't… but he couldn't stop.

"**_LOVE ME!"_** Reverberated the cry in his skull. **_"LOVE ME!" _**an unbreakable command echoing throughout his entire being.

He closed his eyes, at some level resisting the reality of the kiss and at the same time savoring the sensation.

"_I've waited for you for such a long time." _The voice was still young but it sounded so different from the image he had of his partner.

"Ah-" Tsuzuki felt he had to say something but he couldn't think straight.

"_My darling Tsuzuki-san."_ The voice was so calm and even melodic… almost hypnotic.

He felt a blindfold over his eyes and he panicked. He moved to take it off, but his wrists were caught midway.

"_Shhh! Trust me!"_ There was power in that voice so beguiling that took away the fear and reasoning. _"Shhh!"_

One hand pressed his body firmly to a more powerful waiting chest and the other hand was roaming over his leg. He didn't think he had ever been touched like this in his life, but with amnesia how could he be sure? He couldn't breathe. His mouth was released as the tongue chose to trail down his neck. He took that moment to speak. "Hisoka!"

The tongue paused and then withdrew.

This sudden change puzzled Tsuzuki. "Hisoka?"

"_I want you to call me Saki."_ His companion whispered so sweetly into his ear.

"Saki?"

"_That's right. When it's just the two of us like this call me Saki."_

"Saki… I think we are going to be late."

"_We have time."_

"We have time." Tsuzuki echoed as he lost touch with all reality…

Tatsumi received the news that Muraki had escaped. He wanted to warn Tsuzuki and Hisoka right away but to communicate between realms was impossible without a gatekeeper. In fifteen minutes, Wakaba should be there. What could happen in fifteen minutes?

Muraki watched with disgust as his half brother used **_his puppet_** to trick **_his Tsuzuki-san!_** "You're going to pay for that Saki! One way or another!"

Hisoka sat in front of the mirror and began combing his hair. The look of satisfaction was replaced by one of pain and then confusion. He put the brush down. It was morning already and he was practically ready for the day… but wasn't he just… the thought refused to form.

Was he awake or was he dreaming? Or was he just losing his mind?

He tried to concentrate on what had happened in the last few hours. He had a bath…then some strange fragment of a vivid dream or a muddled reality?

He noticed the empty bed behind him and the water beginning to pool at the closed bathroom door.

"_Tsuzuki-"_

He rushed to the bathroom and slide the door open without knocking. Tsuzuki was on the floor face down, unconscious and unclothed.

"TSUZUKI!"

"How dare you Saki!" Muraki was furious as he attempted to strangle his brother with his bare hands.

"Jealous Kazutaka?" Laughed Saki, not showing any discomfort but rather delight. His hands came around Muraki mimicking the embrace he had Tsuzuki in. "We can be just as close."

Muraki pushed him away. "Don't you touch me!"

"You were the one who started it."

"Tatsumi-san!"

Tatsumi thought his news was bad enough but as Hisoka told him of Tsuzuki's fainting spell in the bathroom caused the secretary more concern.

Tsuzuki seemed to have fully recovered as he was enjoying his breakfast without a care in the world.

"You really should eat neater."

All Tatsumi wanted was to wipe off the crumbs on Tsuzuki's face but he also managed to wipe off that sunny smile when he finally delivered his news. He decided not to worry too much about it since he was so sure Tsuzuki and Hisoka would working it out together. They were good for each other and he hoped they would find happiness with each other.

September 2, 2005


	15. School House

I am back; whether that is good or bad news is for you to decide…

Disclaimer: I do not even know all of the eighteen shinigami, and none of them knows me; therefore, I did not create or own them.

Warning: Bullying.

-----

School House 

"Please don't dally Tsuzuki-san." Tatsumi declared as he failed to hide his impatience in his tone. The secretary resented that Tsuzuki apparently regained his slacker attitude but not his memory.

"Just call if you need us Tsuzuki." Suzaku whispered into his ear as she hugged him goodbye.

"I will." Tsuzuki promised as he waved goodbye to his shikigami.

"Take care of him." The shikigami whispered into Hisoka's ear as she gave him a hug goodbye.

"I promised him I would take care of him so I will…" Nobody really caught the strange look in Hisoka's eyes as he followed the other shinigami through the portal.

Tatsumi could see Wakaba and Terazuma waiting for them at the end of the portal but then the portal started to collapse. In a moment of inspiration, he used his shadows to keep the portal open, but with wormholes in the portal itself, it was no easy task. He called for his companions to hurry but realized they were in deep trouble.

Hisoka was curled into a ball with one major headache. The secretary assessed that it was a psychic attack, most likely directed at the youth's empathic abilities to cripple him mental. Tsuzuki was no better; he was lost in some kind of trance. What Tatsumi did not realize was that Hisoka's empathic link to his partner was being used to hurt them both.

Wakaba was doing her best to keep the channel open. The shadow master knew there was no way Hisoka or Tsuzuki would be able to save themselves, but he could reach one of them; unfortunately he would have to choose between them.

"Hurry Tatsumi-san!" Cried Wakaba as the door was shrinking further.

There was no time to think and he reach out his hand and grabbed hold of a jacket and hurdled his co-worker towards the shrinking door. He had no time to be thankful that Terazuma caught him, instead of crashing into Wakaba.

He tried to grab hold of the other but a wormhole had swallowed him and closed right up.

"Tatsumi-san!" Called Wakaba.

He had to fight his way out from the remaining wormholes.

"We've got you." Reassured Terazuma as he helps the shadow master to his feet.

"Is he okay?"

"No. We have to get him to the infirmary right away."

Tsuzuki-san I'm sorry… 

------

Hisoka woke up in an unfamiliar place and with strange company, but one he recognized.

"Muraki!" He hissed as he attempted to lunge at his attacker but found himself hanging like an unused puppet on the racks.

"Such a pretty toy. Dear brother."

Hisoka turned his attention to the unknown man.

"Who are you?"

"Oh that's right. We have not been properly introduced. I am Shido Saki."

------

"What's wrong with him Watari-san?" The secretary asked, without every taking his eyes of the unconscious shinigami, who had failed to regain consciousness in spite of all their efforts.

"Physically he's fine." The blonde always tried to offer some good news even in the most difficult situations. "But his mind… he's caught in some dream and he can't wake up. He's searching in his mind for a way out but… it also involves Bon."

"How?"

"It's hard to explain-"

"Try me."

Watari sighed deeply, there was just no reasoning with Tatsumi when it came to people he cared most deeply about. "Well it's with their empathic link… If we were talking about computers I would say, Bon and Tsuzuki had this private network connection between them. When Tsuzuki lost his memory, it was as if he lost his password to get into that connection but it was still there just unused. But now someone has hacked into that connection and is feeding false information between the two and since Bon has disappeared Tsuzuki has no way of confirming the truth of the messages."

"So what can we do?"

"Nothing… except pray."

"I have to see the chief. I'll be back soon."

The scientist watched the retreating secretary, before turning back to Tsuzuki.

"Please wake up."

He failed to notice the figure behind him that struck him from behind.

-------

"What do you plan to do with me!" Demanded Hisoka.

"Feisty little thing aren't you. A lot of spirit?" Mocked Saki as placed his hands on young shinigami head to have eye-to-eye contact with him.

Hisoka could feel the foreign presence in his mind, tearing through him. He could feel losing a part of himself … being consumed by a deep darkness. The desire to take Tsuzuki…

"It was you-"

"Smart boy."

Muraki listened to his puppet's screams but felt a certain level of dissatisfaction, still beautiful that broken cry but not caused by him. He shut out the cries and began to plot an escape.

------

When Tsuzuki opened his eyes, strangers were tending him. His body was being pampered like that of a prince but he felt like a prisoner. He tried to pull away but his body refused to obey. They dressed him in a simple looking robe, however Tsuzuki knew from the feel of the cloth this was high quality.

"Please follow me Tsuzuki-san. The master has been expecting you."

Like a meek lamb for the slaughter, the shinigami followed without visible resistance. Tsuzuki stared at the bamboo curtain, which hid this master they spoke off from his view. He was forced on his knees and to avert his eyes.

"LEAVE US." Resounded a commanding voice, and everyone filed out of the room without another word. The shinigami felt chilled to his very soul by the voice. There was the smallest click as the doors were locked, which echoed like a distant gunshot.

"I have been waiting for you." The power behind the voice was undeniable even when in came in a gentler tone. He continued to kneel and heard footsteps coming closer to him. He dared not to raise his head. His heart hurt, with each step coming closer, he wanted to turn and run away, far away. He was trembling now but still had no power to speak or move on his own. He was surprised to feel a hand on his cheek turning his face up. His eyes grew large in surprise, but instead of seeing clearly a bright light flashed into his eyes and then stillness followed by darkness.

--------

"Saki-sama we are ready for you."

"Time to work my little marionette."

"I'll stop you."

"You had no objections this morning-"

The memory was released from his mind. Tsuzuki blindly trusting him and how he-

"No! It wasn't me!"

"It was…"

"No!"

"Why just last night! Wasn't he beautiful?"

"…"

"I could never have done it without you. Now be a good puppet and open the door."

"No! I will not! I won't hurt him again."

Saki worked his hands over Hisoka, just like a master puppeteer and soon he had the young shinigami bending to his every whim.

-------

"_Asato! Wake up!"_

Young Tsuzuki Asato bolt up in his seat and came crashing down the floor.

The other school children laughed, taunting the outsider among them.

"_You really have much to learn."_ The sensei declared as a wooded switch snapped across Asato's knuckles. _"Go stand in the corner. No one sleeps in my class."_

"**I'm sorry."**

"_Don't talk until I call you. Now go to the corner."_

-------

Tsuzuki's brow furrowed even though he was in the iron grip of a very strong slumber spell. He visibly flinched as he was struck in his dream.

"You really have much to learn but you will learn…" 

The sun was now sinking into the sea. Even if the shinigami found their dear companion, it would be to late to undo the damage to his mind in time. Still there was no need to take chances. Enma's deadline was just hours away.

They bound his hands and feet with silk cords and gagged him firmly.

"_Let's go."_

Tears were beginning to slip from shut amethyst eyes.

------

"_Baka!"_ Quipped a young child with green eyes.

"_Saru!"_ Whispered an older boy with, such an intense look of hatred in his face.

He could hear the voices taunting him over and over in his corner, even as he lowered his eyes so he would not have to look at them.

"_Strange eyes." _

"_So naïve."_

"_Always late."_

"_Such a mess"_

"_I'm glad he's not my partner."_

How he wanted to speak out against them, but no, he could not talk. He tried to be as quiet as he could possibly be but it felt like his heart was beating in protest. Each breath began to hurt. His heart beating louder and louder in his chest, but it was never enough to block out the verbal cruelty.

"_Freak."_

"_A plague on us all."_

"_Walking destruction."_

"_Useless."_

"_Insane."_

"_Weakling."_

"_Just another mouth to feed."_

Tears started to well up in his eyes, but instead of getting them to stop, it got worse.

"_An old goat."_

"_Black sheep."_

"_Worse than useless; he's a liability."_

"_Certainly not human."_

"_A demon at best."_

"_You mean a beast."_

"_Black heart, black soul."_

"_Better off dead."_

"_Should have drowned him when they had a chance."_

"_Hopeless."_

Suddenly a hard hand slapped his face_. "Why are you crying? I'll give you something to cry about!"_

Tsuzuki was stunned into silence as his teacher struck him harder on the other side of his face.

"_Good boys don't cry."_

**I must really be a very bad boy.** He could not stop crying, even if his life depended on it, and right now, it did.

"_Children. Asato is a very slow learner, we all have to teach him a lesson."_

"**No! No! Please! I'll do anything!"**

"You are still crying. Therefore you are a LIAR!" 

"**I'm not."**

"_Still crying! Children we have to make him stop."_

Asato screamed but no one came to stop them. No one came to help him. Everyone came but only to punish him.

"_We have to cleanse ourselves. Asato must be punished."_

------

"How could this happen?" Pondered the chief was he listened in disbelief to the report of Tatsumi.

Tatsumi had pulled himself together to at least fool a casual onlooker that he was functioning at top form, that this was just a matter of retrieving another lost soul, not a matter of losing their treasured friend.

Watari burst into the door unannounced.

"They've taken him!"

Tatsumi's mask of composure shattered under this news. Someone had to pay.

------

Tsuzuki felt invisible and on display at the same time. It tore him up. Everyone hurt him, even the teachers and now he was trying to just be as still as he could so he would not feel pain. His eyes were swollen from crying but everything else was swollen because of the beatings.

He felt a hand on his swollen cheek and he tried to turn away expecting more pain to come but was instead surprised that it was followed by the comforting coolness of a clean handkerchief dipped in ice cold water.

"_I won't let anyone hurt you again."_

Tsuzuki's heart welled up with hope as he recognized his savior. **"Saki!"** He threw his arms around his rescuer crying once again but this time in relief.

"_No one is ever going to be mean to you again."_

"**It's okay. You're here now."**

"_But they had to pay for what they did to you."_

It was then Asato noticed that Saki had a long sword by his side.

"**What? Saki? I don't understand!"**

"_Oh? But you do. You just don't want to understand."_

"**No! Saki! Don't! Please!"**

"_I'm sorry Tsuzuki. But it's too late."_

The sword was dripping with blood.

"**No! Why!"**

"_It's all for you Tsuzuki."_

"No-" "All for you…" "NO!" 

------

TBC

October 25, 2005

Next update; next month.


	16. Slaughter house

Disclaimer: I never been to or own anything from Pink House therefore I am not the gifted creator or owner of YnM.

Warning: By the time I finish my under aged readers may already be voting.

Intense violence. The other warnings were in the previous chapters.

If you get nightmares because you have a young impressionable mind it is not my fault. (Translation if you lied about your age to yourself to read this fic, that is entirely your fault, my responsibility was to label content appropriately.)

Really not for kids. REALLY.

Character death, if you are a rabid fan of the character who will flame me for killing your favorite, go ahead that is your choice but if you do it anonymously I can and most likely will choose to delete it.

Before reviewing or posting your own stories, please really read content guidelines.

Thank you!

----------

Slaughter House

The child named Asato went into schoolhouse. and found it littered with blood and body parts. He could recognize some of them but the others were mutilated beyond recognition. His eyes were draw to the wall were the books were usually stacked; on the shelves were the heads his classmates neatly lined up side by side. He was horrified to find that there was only one soul who was still fighting to live.

"Sensei!" He screamed as he went to his teacher and made clumsy attempts to stem the flow of blood.

His teacher tried to speak but no words came; only blood foaming from his mouth and cut throat. Tsuzuki was covered in the blood and guts of those who had so desperately to belong with.

"Sensei!" He called again, begging his teacher to live. "Please don't die!"

One silver eye fixed on him and Tsuzuki watched the very life drain away unable to do anything, turning the eye glassy.

"Sensei…"

_You are indeed a monster._

------

Hisoka felt his partner's distress. "Tsuzuki!" He called in his mind, but there was no answer. He could see what they were doing to Tsuzuki's mind and his body; and he was sure his partner would not be able to take much more of this.

"TSUZUKI!"

A cold laugh broke through his reverie.

"Muraki!" He snarled.

"Boy, do you really want to win?"

"This isn't a game!"

"Ah, but it is if you know the rules."

Hisoka had a retort at his lips but felt an echo of Tsuzuki's pain. His partner wasn't consciously thinking of him, but his heart was calling out.

"Give him to me. Boy. He's calling for me."

Hisoke denied it, even as he caught the glimpse of the silver eye in Tsuzuki's mind and the repeated cries for 'sensei.' "He doesn't need you!"

"He wouldn't be here if you could take care of him."

Hisoka's mind was an open book to Muraki and they both knew it. He knew the doctor couldn't lay a finger on him, as they were bound to opposite sides of the room, but he also knew he wouldn't have to; all Muraki had to do was look at him, and he was lost so lost in a mind of madness. The cold lust washing over him like a tidal wave. There was no hope to fight and only a miracle could save him.

"Screw you!"

"You're already dead to him."

Hisoka cringed it was as if Muraki could see into Tsuzuki's mind even more clearly than Hisoka could. On the shelves were only those faces that resembled one shinigami or another.

"Come…" The doctor whispered but it was no invitation but a command. Muraki watched with fascination as the boy's face contorted in pain. He knew soon it would be of pleasure, then confusion to assuage his guilty pleasure and last would be surrender, for there was no way the boy would win with his ignorance of the rules and the loopholes. It was a dance the tiresome boy would insist playing; a dance he wouldn't mind at all sharing with Tsuzuki-san. "Come…" he whispered again even softer this time but now the boy's body arched against his restraints his eyes wild but unseeing, raw emotion and sweat covering every inch off that creamy white flesh and his entire body craving for release, reminiscent of their very first encounter. "Come." He said a final time as his puppet turned control over to him once again. "Good boy."

A single tear was the lone mark of resistance of a doll like face, even as a most inviting cry fell from his lips.

------

Tsuzuki turned around sharply, unsure if he did hear someone calling. He crept to the window and took a cautious peek; the villagers were coming to take their children home, unaware of the devastation inside, not noticing the daunting silence or the stench of death. What would they say when they saw this? What would they do when they go here? What would become of him?

"They're coming to kill you Tsuzuki." Saki whispered as he scooped the little boy from the window.

"Saki!" Squeaked the boy in confusion, scared out of his mind.

"Don't worry I'll protect you."

Wordlessly Tsuzuki surveyed the destruction before him, unreal but also undeniably true.

"But-"

"Haven't you learned anything?"

"…"

"Trust me."

It was strange to see Saki so immaculate and for Asato to be fully aware of his own filthiness. He felt he would never be clean again but Saki took the wretched boy in his arms and disappeared into the forest with the boy.

Soon the once silent night was filled with the wailing of distraught mothers, calling out to their children who would never answer, echoing in what had once been a place of joy and hope…

Saki brought Asato to the river and washed him, where he changed from a most grimy little boy to a slender young man, a picture of pure beauty and innocence. Saki showered him with affection with little kisses and well placed caresses. Tsuzuki had never felt so beautiful or desirable in all his life; but he also felt chilled to the bone. There was a flash of lighting closely followed by a clap of thunder; a storm was coming.

Saki turned his head to the heavens to regard the sudden shift in weather. His eyes narrowed as his thoughts turned to his brother and the brat. "We have to get moving."

"But I'm cold." Came the feeble protest through chattering teeth.

Another flash of lighting came strike a tree and with it an answer; Saki found a fallen hollow tree. He had Tsuzuki crawl in and told him he would be back with food and clothes. He also warned his companion not to reveal himself to anyone until he returned.

Tsuzuki obeyed and did his best to keep warm and quiet. He didn't realize he was hungry until Saki mentioned food, and he didn't realize how tried he was until his eyes felt strangely heavy.

He had a strange dream of a voice shouting begging to be let out and to go home until the voice got hoarser and hoarser until it faded away to a broken cry. He woke up with his own tears lining his cheeks. Outside it started to rain and he began to worry that Saki might not be able to return. He thought of following Saki; but a nearly naked man out in the rain was sure to call attention he did not want.

"Tsuzuki-san." Called a voice while soft was still clear as crystal in spite of the rain.

Without another thought Tsuzuki crawled out to find it wasn't Saki.

"It's good to see you again."

Tsuzuki continued to stare in shock but unbidden a name felt from his lips. "Muraki." He didn't know what he should do, but he knew without a doubt he had failed to heed Saki's firm warnings.

"Your safe now." Muraki whispered as he wrapped his own coat over Tsuzuki. The rain stopped as suddenly as it began.

"Then why do I feel so unsafe." Muttered Tsuzuki before he had time to really think.

"Must I prove my love to you again?"

His heart was pounding so loudly in his chest, he could hear it in his head; he shook his head trying to clear it. "No stop…" Tsuzuki faltered on his feet but Muraki caught him and gently but firmly rested him against a tree, then blocked off escape by pressing body against body. "You have to leave before he comes back-"

"Are you worried about me?" Whispered the doctor as his tongue brushed ever so lightly on the shinigami's ear. He made it clear he wasn't going anywhere by trailing open mouthed kisses on Tsuzuki's neck.

"Are you talking about me?" Demanded a voice behind them.

Both turned into the direction of the voice.

"Hisoka!" Called one.

"Saki!" Said another.

Muraki quickly positioned Tsuzuki in front of him as a shield. Tsuzuki tried to break away but the doctor held fast giving him just enough pain to make him cooperate. "Now I know how you tricked him."

"Wasn't hard, considering he is so naïve as you would say."

"Naïve he maybe but with the proper teacher…"

"Indeed."

"LET ME GO!" Burst out Tsuzuki, even thought he was visibly in great pain and with more than a little fear.

"Oh, Tsuzuki-san you really should learn to listen more."

"Wh-" Tsuzuki blinked his eyes to find himself encased in some kind of spherical crystal cage. He pounded on it but didn't even make a scratch.

The two brother regarded each other as they prepared to duel each other.

"Just sit quietly Tsuzuki-san. It will all be over soon."

"Just as soon as I kill my brother."

"Brother?"

--------

Hisoka could feel the turmoil of emotions of all the parties involved. He was angry that Tsuzuki still didn't understand that Saki wasn't him, but then it was his fault for being so weak that both brothers were using him to toy with Tsuzuki. He had to get in. Damn those brothers if they both died but not Tsuzuki. He would find a way to make things right.

But he was so tired. So tired he just wanted to die… just like Tsuzuki…

He remembered his last visit to Hakushaku.

"For all the wonders that my dearest Tsuzuki-san is, he is a key to much greater things for those who know how to use him."

Tsuzuki… 

--------

Tsuzuki held his arms up to shield himself from the destructions the brothers made with their beasts. Both brother's were using multi-headed dragons; Muraki had a white dragon and Saki had a red dragon. The ground shook and the heavens cried out, lighting raced back and forth turning the night into day. It was impossible to tell for sure who was winning. The beast would roar as they tore at each other biting and snapping furiously. The brothers were also engaged in an enraged verbal battle that Tsuzuki could not hear over the thunder as the brothers would hurl insults at each other while commanding their dragons to kill.

"You shouldn't fight! You're brothers." Tsuzuki screamed, but his desperate plea was ignored by the brothers, as they continued to fight like spoiled children determined to win at all cost; fighting without regard for consequence.

"STOP!" Tsuzuki shouted, as terror seized his chest. "Please!" His crystal cage remained intact but he found he could move the cage by shifting his weight, he began running moving the cage like a hamster in a ball.

One scarlet dragon head attempted to catch him by swallowing the entire cage but was attacked by the white dragon mercilessly in that exposed stance. The other heads battled each other but as blood gushed from the decapitated dragon which covered Tsuzuki's prison completely it was clearly a lost battle.

The sight of so much blood brought back the picture of the schoolhouse and another repressed memory. _"I've killed…"_

Muraki saw his beast triumph but there was no victory for him as Saki ran his blade clean through his brother. "This is how it should have been ages ago."

"_I'm a Shinigami. I will kill again…"_

It was only when a blood stained hand reached out to caresses his cheek did Tsuzuki break away from his thoughts. He looked into green eyes. "Who are you?"

"Tsuzuki-san you know me. I am Saki."

"You're not Hisoka."

Saki smiled. "Finally you understand."

Tsuzuki saw the Saki was holding something in his hand… his brother's head. He screamed.

Saki only continued smiling. "Yes, it looks horrendous. I'm sorry but I have no silver platter to make a more presentable-"

Tsuzuki said nothing more as he feel on his knees completely dumbfounded.

"I told you I would protect you."

Something snapped in Tsuzuki and in one motion and one cry he took Saki's sword and cut the man down. The sword fell out of his hand.

He took Muraki's head and looked into thosee eyes, dead to the world, there was no doubt. He gave it a kiss and wrapped it as best as he could with trembling hands.

Tsuzuki was crying. It was over now. He was lost.

There was nothing and no one left except him. He took the sword again and poised the blade as best as he could with a trembling hand. It would be a slow death he knew, but he had to pay. He thought of cutting into his heart… but his heart belonged to someone else…

"Drop the sword Tsuzuki."

He looked into familiar green eyes and thought aloud. "I must be crazy."

"Crazy people don't know they're insane." Reprimanded Hisoka as he drew the blade away from Tsuzuki. "Come back to me."

"_I don't deserve to live._ Tsuzuki's tears continued to flow. "_Everyone is dead because of me. You're too good for me."_

His partner was trying to think of the words to say when he was violently pushed away from his partner's mind.

**Go home. Be happy. Forget me. You deserve better.**

_Tsuzuki?_

You will always be in my heart.

_Tsuzuki!_

Hisoka felt nothing more as Tsuzuki closed his mind from within.

_TSUZUKI!_

TBC

November 8, 2005

No promises for the next update.


	17. Lighthouse

Warnings and disclaimers were in the other chapters. And I really can't think of anything witty to say right now.

Lighthouse

Hisoka had to will his eyes to open. He knew his partner wasn't going to respond to him after locking him out of his mind, but he didn't expect to find himself alone on a beach. The sun in his face and his body drenched in sea water as wave after wave pounded on his exhausted body. The sun brought a terrible heat and the wind seemed to bear voices calling out to him but the pounding in his head led him to doubt. He shielded his eyes from the sun and struggled to get up. He could feel his sunburned skin healing but still he was too tired to stand. His clothes showed more than a little wear torn in many places. He knew in all likelihood his body had also taken quite a bruising, but his body had healed over any damage and he could not remember how he got here; wherever here really was. It hurt to move but that was not important. He had to find his partner. He did find his voice and he called out as clearly as he could "TSUZUKI!"

There was no answer; and for the first time he felt complete alone and wretched. His lingering years at the hospital were lonely. There were always people, most doctors and nurses but even with his empathic abilities he never felt connected with anyone. He could feel their emotions and he found it rather troublesome that he could see into their hearts and minds with a simple touch. It was a nuisance and he distrusted every living soul he met, until he met Tsuzuki. He believed he was meant to be alone and wretched but Tsuzuki never believed that for a second. Naïve Tsuzuki who even sought to bring a moment of romance into the life of Tsubaki-hime and his partner unknowing of her part in Muraki's scheme. The one thing Hisoka ended up giving her was death. Now Tsuzuki was gone. Maybe he really was meant to be alone…

No. He could not and would not accept that.

"TSUZUKI!" _Where are you? You fool!_

And just where was he? He was just as lost. He flew to the sky searching for clues. He had to get help. He called for help. Tsuzuki wasn't the only one with a shikigami.

* * *

003 perched right on top of Watari's shoulder to see what he was seeing, but his hair wasn't very welcoming. Humidity was bad news for curly hair. In the past Meifu had constant agreeable weather but that had been changing in the past few years, one of the more unusual circumstances was a snowy night, that those closest to Tsuzuki couldn't just forget. Muraki got away with murder that night; killing Professor Satomi and involving young Mariko, but most of all he stole Tsuzuki right out of Meifu in full sight of Hisoka, Tatsumi and Watari and they did nothing to stop him. It was fortunate they found him when they did or he would have been toast… literally. Now Tsuzuki and Hisoka were missing and all the clues had lead to dead ends. For all of Watari's brilliance he could not find them and the hair was not making things better. 

003 sensed her companion's distress but what could she do? A gentle hand stroked over her feathers and then moved her to a cluttered table filled with maps and charts. The owl turned to the scientist and with some hoots seemed to say that he should rest awhile. Watari smiled but there was sadness in his smile.

"Unusual weather…" Watari looked to the skies and sighed deeply, he was frustrated but saw no reason to take it out on 003.

Tatsumi was less reasonable in his frustration. He verbally tore the scientist apart for losing Tsuzuki, but stopped short of physically harming him when the chief reminded him he would need the scientist help to find their missing agents.

He closed his eyes to rest them a moment. 003 hopped about the table mimicking the restlessness of the scientist. She jumped off the table when he screamed "003 you're a genius!" He grabbed a map off the table spilling the rest of his tea on the floor.

He began manically tapping on his keyboard and downloaded satellite photos one after another. "We're coming guys just wait!"

Soon he called Tatsumi with his findings. The secretary went to see him immediately. "How does this help us?" Asked Tatsumi as Watari pulled up slide after slide on screen.

"When Tsuzuki feels bad enough he changes the weather, whether he means to or not. This chart represents his emotional ups and downs for the past week. Going back over this past week with Tsuzuki's known locations you see how his presence changed the weather projections in proportion to his emotional state. Taking the weather projections from the time Tsuzuki was kidnapped and eliminating those events that were consistent with the projections leaves us with those that have deviated from the original projections. So that is where we will begin our search."

"Then let's go. We have no time to lose."

Tatsumi's cellphone went off at that moment. "What are you saying?" Was all that Watari made out clearly from the secretary before he turned to go.

"What about Tsuzuki?" Called out the scientist.

"I have to go to the Castle of Candles. Your going to have to save Tsuzuki on your own."

Watari could not believe the words coming out of Tatsumi's mouth but ther was no arguing with the secretary. He had to believe Tatsumi had his reasons. He wouldn't just abandon Tsuzuki... wouldn't he?

* * *

Tsuzuki had closed his mind but had also encased his body in a shield. His memories were coming back …all of them; his after life, his actual life and even his past lives. Now he knew why all this was happening at this moment. He had been exiled and now his term of exile was ended. His choice to live as a god of death, a mortal or as the immortal he was once. 

"Has he decided?"

"No. But once the shield is broken there will be no turning back."

Tsuzuki's energy formed a cocoon of light, and some were waiting for a butterfly to emerge. From a distance on the high tower the light flowed, but not everyone saw it. Only those who had eyes open enough to see shinigami even in their spirit forms could witness such an event. Like moths to a flame the other shinigami were drawn towards this light.

January 18, 2006

Next update? Sometime this year.


	18. House Rules

Disclaimer: Still alive… and still not the owner of Yami No Matsuei.

Warnings: Flames shall be used as an excuse to discontinue this story. (The real reason being my current addiction to youtube.)

House Rules

Hisoka and Watari broke through the ceiling with a mighty crash. The scientist hurled bombs around to distract the guards for Hisoka to make his move.

The young shinigami had his shikigami ready in the form of a blazing sword. "AAAAAAaaaaahhhh!" Shouted Hisoka as he swung his sword making a clean cut through the membrane; fluid flowed freely from the cocoon, followed by his partner whose nakedness was masked only by the thick liquid. Hisoka used his sleeve to clean his partner's face. Watari tossed him a robe, which apparently had been waiting for Tsuzuki's eventual release from his cocoon.

"Tsuzuki!" He called as he gently cradled the unresponsive shinigami. His partner's body had no strength of its own and felt disturbingly light.

The smoke began to clear, and someone must have seen them for they heard someone shout aloud. "Stop the boy!"

Watari hurled out more smoke bombs desperately trying to buy more time. "Bon, we've got to get out of here."

"I'm here Tsuzuki! Open your eyes." Hisoka whispered reassuringly to his partner, one hand still holding his sword the other cupping his partner's warm cheek. Violet eyes opened to reflect his own image, but it was clouded by some unspoken terror.

"Tsu- Tsuzuki?" His voice trembled with emotion. What was wrong?

'You shouldn't be here.' Cried Tsuzuki's mind, as his eyes fell. 'They will destroy you.' His mind kept repeating like a broken record. His eyes remained shut as if the very image of his partner was hurting him. 'Can't let you-'

"I won't let you go!" Declared the boy as he held his partner tighter in his arms, but Tsuzuki never heard as he had drifted to unconsciousness. He lifted his partner with a strength he never thought he had.

The other shinigami almost made it to the tower but were driven back by some shield, as they tried to form a plan among themselves they heard a piercing cry in their heads. It was Tsuzuki's mind screaming. The tower shook and a section of the wall was blown away allowing the smoke to clear. Tears fell from Tsuzuki's shut eyes even as one hand clutched tightly at his partner's shirt. Hisoka sensed the presence of the others in the back of his mind but paid them no heed. Why was Tsuzuki rejecting him?

"This judgment has been made!" Growled Saki with a hint of triumph in his voice.

"Didn't you die?" Said the boy; finally taking notice of his surroundings.

"Your one to talk boy." Saki presented Enma's seal. "Let Tsuzuki go."

Everyone froze when they saw the seal.

Hisoka shivered not understand what was happening. "His my partner! You can't do this!" He protested as he raised his sword. His friends shouted to him to stop.

"He's mine now boy!" Sang Saki in triumph. The guards moved to enforce this declaration.

"I'll kill you!"

Saki smiled with unabashed pleasure and evil. "Threatening the bearer of Enma's seal is grounds for the most dire punishment." Nevertheless, to Hisoka it was an empty threat for what could be worse than losing Tsuzuki?

The seal glowed and an intense beam of light struck Hisoka on his forehead. He seemed stunned for a moment and then collapsed on the ground, eyes open but unseeing, staring out into a world of chaos that was all in his mind. He screamed an unholy scream as he dropped his partner and his sword. He laid unmoving on the floor as a symbol flared on his forehead.

"BON!" Cried out Watari.

"Let's go." Saki declared as his guards brought Tsuzuki to him.

The scientist turned the boy to face him, he read the symbol on Hisoka's forehead and felt his heart clench. "No! Please! No!"

Tsuzuki opened his eyes. His head hurt. His body hurt, but most of all his heart and he could not understand what was happening or what had happened. He remembered green eyes looking down on him and he saw himself reflected back from those pupils as being completely broken… and how once before those same eyes had been the ones to break him. He shivered at the memory, and a groan escaped his throat. Suddenly a comforting hand was on his shoulder.

He looked up into eyes full of concern. He tried to smile as he saw it was Tatsumi. He tried to say he was okay but he could not. He just threw his arms around him. He could not believe it. "Tatsumi!" He felt his former partner pulling away and at last Tsuzuki released him.

"I'm sorry Tsuzuki."

Tsuzuki's heart clenched he was afraid to ask but "Why?" came out before he could stop it. "What happened?"

"A decision has been made for you."

"What? No! Why?"

Tatsumi explained as gently as he could what had transpired behind Enma's bamboo curtain. "Kurosaki-kun interference was cited to make any choice you made invalid. It has been decided that you will be under Saki's guidance until further notice."

That could mean eternity.

The secretary continued even thought he was not sure if the words would sink in anytime soon. "No one under the power of Enma is allowed to break this rule."

"What happened to Hisoka?"

The secretary looked at him with great sadness. Hisoka's punishment could end but the price that Tsuzuki would have to pay was on a more permanent basis. "It was a seal of escalating madness."

Tsuzuki gasped. The seal of escalating madness was designed to destroy a soul by driving it into madness but with short periods of lucidity that were to be followed by even more intense descends into madness.

"Listen to me very carefully Tsuzuki. Hisoka can still be saved so-"

Tears escaped Tsuzuki's eyes. "I know."

The secretary was surprised by this response. "You know?"

Tsuzuki nodded quietly. "I know how. I remember much more now that I thought possible Tatsumi." He smiled sadly. "Don't worry Hisoka will be okay."

"But what about you?"

"I don't matter."

"Tsuzuki?"

"Not anymore." He muttered so softly no one else but Tatsumi would have been able to hear him.

"Tsuzuki!?"

"Just hold me!" Cried his suffering friend, "This last time."

They held each and Tatsumi could not tell his partner not to cry as a single tear rolled down his cheek.

In the medical ward, Hisoka finally opened his eyes, his entire body clear of all markings. Watari called out "BON!" in relief as he hugged him.

"Get off me you fool!"

"It's good to have you back Kurosaki-kun."

"Are you hungry Hisoka-san?"

Tsuzuki could hear them as walked down the halls away from Hisoka's room. He smiled slightly as continued to listen to their voices. This had been his last goodbye and he was not even allowed to look upon his partner. He was not really allowed to say goodbye to anyone. He did leave most if not all of his power to his shikigamis for Gensokai to have some stability in the face of the continued onslaught of wormholes.

"Oh Hisoka-kun the hospital gown simply isn't flattering."

"Don't worry we found the perfect dress for you from Pink House which will bring out the color in your cheeks."

"Mostly likely from embarrassment."

Tsuzuki strained his ears to catch as mush as he could before he could hear no more. The door slid open and Saki smiled to him as he reached out a hand to him. He took it without a smile, just defeat in eyes still beautiful as jewels even as they drowned in despair, his newly appointed guardian took his hand in a powerful grip as he was pulled out of the building. The door slammed shut behind him.

"He won't suffer anymore for your sake. He won't remember." Saki's tone was reassuring but his eyes spoke volumes of other things that were anything but reassuring. "It is best you forget them."

'If only I could.' He looked back at the building with longing.

"Don't be sad Tsuzuki-san. You don't know how well I can treat you." Smiled his companion with desire shining in his eyes, as he pulled Tsuzuki close. "You just have to do as I say."

Then they faded away to a destination Tsuzuki did not know, except that it would never be home.

October 24, 2006


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer: Still not mine, and don't even have anything new related to the fandom.

Warnings: This is short and different from all my other chapters. Author is lazy and starving for reviews, finding other fandoms most inviting…

Saki had promised Tsuzuki comfortable lodgings and these were luxurious beyond the standards the office usually imposed on him. It was still modest but it had modern plumbing, windows that were not broken, the walls and the ceiling were freshly painted. It was decorated in the traditional style, it reminded him of his own home, years ago in his mortal life. This was to become his world. It would have been a cozy home but Tsuzuki was acutely aware that he couldn't be anywhere in this apartment, without Saki knowing exactly were he was, when he was there. Saki would leave him at times, but he never used the door, he would just be there or he wouldn't be. It was unnerving to Tsuzuki and he had only one sanctuary, the bathroom. Saki never appeared there. He could never go out on his own, except for the same garden he had which flourished under his care.

He soon discovered however that the more he tried to isolate himself from Saki, the more Saki sought him out, depriving him of any peace. Tsuzuki found a means of compromising, as long as Saki could see him, they didn't have to talk or touch. He made it a point never to turn his back on Saki, he had no place to retreat. Sometimes Saki would have a monologue. The monologues were of interest to Tsuzuki because Saki would tell him how his friends were doing or some piece of news to the outside world.

Tsuzuki decided that Saki was a master manipulator in his own right, but then for his friends he could endure anything. When Saki saw how Tsuzuki hungered for the news, he would drift off or cut his tale short until Tsuzuki negotiated for the rest of the story, a touch here or some other act that normally Tsuzuki would never allow. He choose to endure the looks, the touches, the silence, the talks, the loneliness, the isolation, the uncertainty… as long as he knew they were okay.

Saki would show him pictures or videos. He was a little disturbed about this invasion of his friends' privacy, but his need to know that they were okay, made him hunger for any news of them. No one had challenged any of his shikigami yet. They were no longer his he reminded himself, but even though he knew this in his mind, he still held them all in his heart… but he was losing a part of himself a little more as each day passed.

Saki smiled to himself as he saw Tsuzuki cry in silence. He enjoyed himself; in his almost scientific deconstruction of the man. Tsuzuki. He still enjoyed that name on his lips but not as much as his other senses when he 'studied' his subject.

Already he could see 'progress'.

Enma would be pleased.

Hisoka studied the empty desk in front of his own as if it was the most fascinating piece of furniture in the world. It was by all means to the naked eye an old but still useable office table, no different from all the others in the office, a scratch here and there, just ordinary wear and tear. It was ordinary to the usual observation, but that would be the same as saying that Hisoka was just an ordinary boy. He was a shinigami, same as everyone else in his division, but he was also an empath and though shinigami each had their own special ability Hisoka's empathy was usually very sensitive that he could even sense residual feelings from objects. This was the reason he was looking at the empty table suspiciously, there was a most annoying blank which he drew from it. He frowned more deeply, without being aware of it.

This wasn't the only 'blank' that Hisoka was experiencing. Tatsumi himself felt like a void. Watari was still as cheerful as even but this emptiness also lingered over him. It seemed to be everywhere in a way but there were places which seemed to have higher concentrations of emptiness. It was a strange thought and Hisoka feared a little for his own sanity. This wall was similar to before he found that Muraki was his murdered but this wall seemed different in that it was only cutting off memories after his mortal life.

He felt cut off from everyone else, which was ironic considering his ability was to know how other's were feeling and even at times what they were thinking.

He had to know what was happening to him or what had happened to him. There were moments he would feel a phantom pain, hinting at greater discomfort but thinking of Muraki's curse, he could help but feel he was on the right track … or maybe he was just a sucker for punishment.

If there was a library that he could go to for answers he would have gone there, but even in the Gushoshin's library there was a void; something important was gone and he couldn't find it. He had to continue… continue to search, but he didn't even know where to begin.

There had to be a key somewhere…

Or maybe he just needed a change in scenery.

Tatsumi could see that Hisoka was suffering, even if the youth himself was not aware of the cause. The secretary knew without a doubt the cause. He knew it was Tsuzuki, but this knowledge had been purchased at a most expensive price. He bore his own scar now over his left wrist which he fingered light. He remembered Tsuzuki by baring his friend's scars, those ugly scars were the only reminder of own of his most treasured friend. He could watch over Tsuzuki's friends, but he could not interfere. It seemed a steep price, but for a man without hope, it was acceptable.

He approved Hisoka's application to live outside the housing complex, but denied the other locations Hisoka opted for until the boy found an old couple who were renting out their second floor for a price which even a miser like Tatsumi would approved. Only Tatsumi knew that he had approved a similar agreement for another worker for a number of years, it wasn't the Tsuzuki's last apartment, that was too obvious, but it was the same couple who housed Tsuzuki for a week before Tatsumi found him something even cheaper.

Hisoka slept well that night in his new apartment. He didn't know that he had found the one place where Enma's seal hadn't erased every memory of Tsuzuki. He dreamed he was someone else. He dreamed that his partner came by his apartment, or was that ex-partner? The man pushed up his glasses on his nose, the way he did before he had something important to say, and which he expected to be followed explicitly…

"Tsuzuki-san, this house doesn't suit you."

'_Tsuzuki?'_

March 10, 2007


End file.
